Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Rainbow Baby Coming October 2019

I know it is not normal for people to share pregnancy news in their first trimester, but John and I have kind of thrown out the rule book for this kind of stuff. We have been open with our infertility and baby losses. We are so excited and why should we hide it? Pregnancy and growing your family is such an exciting and joyous time, and we are thrilled. How can we dodge questions and ignore this little baby growing inside of me when we have spent YEARS trying to get to this point? No matter what, this little one is a part of our family.

I know it has been awhile since I have last updated on here; but we have exciting news! We are pregnant with our little rainbow baby and, with prayers and knocking on every piece of wood I pass, this baby will be born in October. This pregnancy was kind of unexpected. I had a surgery in December to remove my endometriosis, get a correct staging for it and do something called Ovarian drilling. Lots of doctors do not think that ovarian drilling is effective, and so they will not do it. But my obgyn decided that it was worth a shot since we had already done so much with no success in a pregnancy.

We did this December 14th and my cycles have been all kind of off ever since. The only symptom that I had was an extremely sore chests..... it hurt a lot. Turns out we are expecting! So I immediately called my doctor who wanted to do lots of blood work and check every single one of my hormone levels to figure out what was going on. My levels came back quite high on Monday and then Wednesday the 27th I had them repeated and they over doubled. They came back *almost* doubling on Friday.  I spoke to my doctor and she said there is no reason at this point to think that this is not a viable & healthy pregnancy that will go full term.

We feel so blessed,  so excited and so hopeful. This little boy or girl will complete our family and we are more than ready to close the chapter of this infertility book on our lives and move on. Mikayla is over the moon excited. Ever since we told her she is going to be a big sister she has been so curious about everything baby. She asks me about every 5 or 10 minutes: mom, is the baby hungry? Mom, is the baby tired? Does it sleep when you sleep? Does he hear me? Has it come out yet?? It will be really fun to watch her ask more questions and even come see the baby on the ultrasound to find out the genders. We have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow and we are so so so excited to get a sneak peak of sweet baby tomorrow (march 7th) and we can hardly contain our excitement. We then get another look on the 20th!

I am feeling pretty good. I am pretty nauseated during the day but the sickness actually hits at night and the throwing up happens then. I am grateful that Kayla is old enough to understand and to do a lot of things on her own. I am seeing more and more pro's to having a 7 year gap! It has been a very surreal week and a half. I feel like I am constantly waiting for something to go wrong, but so far we have had nothing but a (this word is NOT ALLOWED in our house) Normal pregnancy. For this we are grateful. It Is kind of weird to have a feeling that we are starting over... we have nothing baby left! We have so many friends and family members who are super excited for us and are going to throw us a baby shower- how kind! Looking forward to every single part of this pregnancy!

Size of baby this week.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Fall family Pictures (September 2018)

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored"

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

The Big Day!

My heart and emotions have been doing a lot of flip flopping today, and even last night. I could not believe how fast Kindergarten has come to our home! It seems like it did a sneak attack on us but lets be real, we have had 5 1/2 years, or 2,051 days, 293 weeks, 67 months, 49248 hours, 2954880 minutes and 177292800 seconds. It does not seem like this day can possibly be here. The saying, "The days are long but the years are short" has never rung more true in my life than today.
How can it possibly be time for my whole world (other than John of course) to leave me and go to a school with really big kids for 8 hours a day. Our little girl has grown up and is starting to take on the world without her mama (or dad). It is crazy to think that this is just the beginning- before we know it it is going to be middle school, high school graduation and then college! Time is flying by way too fast and I just want it to stop. I was her to smell that irresistible baby smell, learn how to walk again. It is so hard for me to let her go, but I know in order for her to soar, to learn, to be taught and to become the amazing woman that I can already see her being, school is a major part of that. 

Mikayla picked out her outfit last night before bed. For anyone that knows Kayla, they know she is NOT a girly girl at ALL. Give her dinosaurs, hot wheels, star wars and she will be content as can be. So when she picked out her Pineapple dress to wear on the first day today, I was so excited; she even let me put a bow in her hair!

I decided to do something a little bit different than the super popular boards that you fill the stats and interests, grade, etc. on this year. I have been wanting to get a felt letter board for awhile and this is the perfect excuse; now I just need to go buy 10 more! Ha!

Family Picture before heading up to the Elementary School. 

All ready!

We had just gotten to the school and I needed one more picture of Mikayla and I together. This is such a big day and I wanted to try and document as much as I could with pictures. 

We got into her classroom and she immediately put her backpack away. I am grateful that on the first day she is starting to get into a routine of exactly what to do when she gets inside the classroom. 

In front of her locker

Mikayla rode the bus to preschool at LPS for whole year, and absolutely LOVED it. I was fine with that bus, it only went about 3 miles away from where we were living. This bus she is on for a half hour if not more and they go on grave roads and the highway. After talking it out with John, my mom and praying about it, we decided to let her go ahead and take the bus. It will help her gain more independence and confidence in herself. She dashed off that school bus so fast! The driver said she did wonderful; listened well and followed the instructions. She will now ride the bus to and from school which she is just so darn excited for!

After she got home and was telling me all about her awesome first day at kindergarten. I was so incredibly excited to hear all about how it went- which thankfully was "awesome" in her words. I very much look forward to the adventures she is going to have, the new friends that she will make and all the growth and learning that comes along with school.

"Kindergarten children are confident in spirit, infinite in resources, and eager to learn. Everything is still possible" --->Robert Fulghum

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Starting a new phase of life....I'm not ready!

It is crazy to think that in just a few weeks, you will be walking into a big elementary school, getting ready to start a new chapter in your life. This new chapter involves less of me, and a whole lot more strangers. You have picked out your clothes, dinosaur backpack, horse lunch bag. We will go get our nails painted and have a fun mom-daughter day before the big first day! You will pick out which shoes, socks, and clothing you want to wear for your first day of school. We will decide how you want your hair done. ***So far, it has been a whole lot of you and me in life. We have gone on road trips, libraries, museums, parks, ice cream shops, restaurants, mommy and me classes. We have had so many fun adventures together. You get to ride Sugar (horse) every single week as I have stood in the arena, cheering you on, so full of pride. I hope we are still able to go on lots of adventures together after this new phase of life starts. I hope you do not think you are too cool for your parents. Please, oh please, get to middle school before this happens. Some day I will pull you out of school unannounced, and we will spend a day together, doing things we both love to do. 

I will cry lots over the next 12 years, especially on your first day of Kindergarten, but most likely every year that you advance in school. As your dad and I  walk out of that big building in Ashland, NE I will wonder where my baby has gone. I will wonder how we went from your NICU graduation, to you walking, talking, eating solids for the first time, so fast. I will probably have the next 12ish years pass before my eyes too. Think about your high school graduation all the way to moving you into the Dorms at College, possibly watching you leave to serve a mission for 18 months, to your wedding. Your last 5 1/2 years of our life together will pass through my memory as I walk to our car in tears. I was so terrified to hold you for the first time. Remembering the beeping of all the machines and monitors, the IV's, the entire NICU stay. The pain in my surgical incision was great, but the pain in my heart, having to sit by and being able to do nothing to help my tiny baby, was worse than any surgery scar. Those things all seem like a lifetime ago.

I remember how worried I was when you were not walking yet. How I was so sure that you would never catch up to kids your age. Now I watch you play on the playground, not able to even recognize the fact that you were once 3 pound baby who was struggling to breathe, to eat and to live.

I will cry and have so many mixture of emotions. Are you treating others with kindness? Are you being the mean kid? Are you going to be made fun of? Will you find a wonderful group of friends, or will you be a loner? Will we spend hours upon hours trying to get you to understand your homework, or will it come easily to you? Will you be invited to birthday parties, nights out at the movies, to parties, or will you spend every weekend at home, feeling left out? Will your teachers, not only your kindergarten one, but throughout the years, see the great value that you hold? Will they know how kind you are, how much better you make this world? Will she love you too?

I hope your dad and I have instilled in you the ability to make good choices, the right choice. I know sometimes it is so hard to do that, even for adults. Will you choose to share the crayons instead of hogging them? Will you hug the child whose crying, trying to help them feel better, rather then being the one who made them cry in the first place. Please, oh please, never be the bully. 

I hope over the years you choose to include me in your life. I have done my best to make you feel like you can tell me anything. Even when it is a silly little thing you want to tell me, I try to make you feel like I know it is important. I hope you always want to talk with me, ask my advice and know what I think (that's a tall order, I know). 

I know you are only 5 1/2 years old and have not even made it into the double digits yet; I just have so many hopes, dreams for you. I want nothing but happiness, health, and good things for you. I want to keep all the bad things away. I know heartache, hurt, injury and drama will come your way, I just hope that I am there to help you find your way through it. 

I am so excited for my sweet little girl to grow in every aspect of her life. I am not ready for this new adventure known as school, mainly because that means she is growing up WAY faster than I think is okay. Ready or not.....29 days!

***I know this makes it sound like it is just Kayla & I. I would like to clarify that she has a VERY involved dad in her life. John is so good with her and we have lots of fun together!

Sunday, December 10, 2017

2017 Christmas Letter

Instead of sending out a Christmas letter (yes, we are still doing cards) I decided to do something a little bit different. So, here is our 2017 Christmas letter!

2017 has proven to be an adventure filled year!

Mikayla turned 4 in January! She did a lot of occupational therapy at the end of last year into this year. She improved so much with the help of fabulous therapists and we feel like we have a totally different child! Mikayla also started preschool this August. She decided that she wanted to ride the school bus and it has become a highlight of her day! She has been loving all things dinosaur and hot wheels lately. This fall we took  trip out to Kearney and spent the day at Jurassic Quest. Mikayla was in heaven being able to interact with Dinosaurs, ride them, feed them, etc.

In May we went to Utah for my stepdad's father's funeral. Lavar was such a kind person and we were all so sad to see him leave this mortal existence, but grateful to know where he is. While in Utah we stayed with a good friend of mine and had a wonderful visit trying a lot of new things (Hello FIIZ!!!!) On the drive home we went through Zion National Arches. We spent 4-5 hours hiking around and stretching our legs for the long drive home.  John and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary in March. We were able to go down to Kansas City, Missouri for the day. We had a great time not sticking to any schedule and doing whatever we wanted.

We were able to spend an entire week on a beach front condo in Navarre Beach, Florida with Johns grandparents and extended family. I am not sure we have ever seen our daughter as excited as we did when she was on the beach. It was such a fantastic trip with great memories! Highlights would be: The perfect tan I came home with, all the ocean time that we were able to have and the family bonding that we were able to do! Between the late night walks on the beach to the tons of sand castles that were built, we are grateful we made the time and effort to go! We are very much looking forward to going next year!

John celebrated his third year of employment at Duncan Aviation. He changed jobs within the company from parts runner to a bench tech II who fixes navigation/communication units from the airplanes. He loves his job and putting all his knowledge to use every day!

As for me, I went back to work and love my job! I register patients at AMI and am very grateful for a job that I very much enjoy going to every day. I also was able to meet a goal that I have been working hard on, Losing 50 pounds!

We are so grateful that we have had another year to be with each other, watch Mikayla grow and turn into a beautiful little girl! We hope that everyone one of you has a very merry Christmas and a wonderful start to 2018!


Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Pottying, Fertility & so much more!

You guys, potty training is making me rethink my entire existence. It doesn't matter what we do, do not do, rewards, what we take away from her, Mikayla REFUSES to consistently potty on the toilet. We let her pick out her toilet seat. We let her pick out her own underwear multiple times. I even did a lot of research and found underwear that is special fabric for kids that have sensory struggles- like our little Mikayla. Nothing. Works. Ever. After today I very well may blow a fuse.

My sweet little darling went through every single pair of pants, leggings and underwear that she owns today. In one single day. She had to resort to wearing a dress to speech therapy. Don't get me wrong, I love love love love love love love this little girl & the gratitude I feel for the chance to be her mother is off the charts. But I am losing my sanity and mind over here. I have had people tell me, "she will do it when she is ready"; "don't push her, that will make it worse"; "just take her pull ups away and force her into underwear" and my very favorite "set a timer and force her to go to the bathroom". I don't know about you, but if someone forced me to go sit on the toilet ever hour, I would probably be pretty pissed and throw a fit too. But I preserve and we are trying....really hard! She stays 100% dry during nap time (when she even takes one anyone) and during the night. When we go to the store, or in the car, or to grandmas house (when we are there with her) she does not have a single accident. It is such a power struggle, and it's a real struggle. Just when I feel like a complete failure and ready to give up and not care anymore- something amazing happens. Like today- Mikayla stood in the corner of the room after having 3 accidents. We had just changed her pants from the pee (I force her to change herself, wipe herself off, etc) she stood there, staring straight at me, and pooped in her underwear. I made her go to her room, get undressed, clean herself up the best that she could and than get dressed again. I was putting her shoes on her and she grabbed the picture of her and I at the KC Temple on our sealing day. She looked at it, and said "Mommy & Me forever!!!! I love You!" She said it in a soft, loving, reverent tone and I could not be upset at her anymore. **On a side note- she DID fall in to the toilet the other day-so I was a little bit easier on her that day**

She will not always have accidents. She will not always refuse to sit on the potty. She will not always be super upset when I refuse to give her a pull up, telling her that I did not buy any more and she is out. She will not always want to hold my hand when we are walking either. She will get over wanting to spend time with me, showing me and telling me every little second of the day she had if I was not with her. She will not always be my little girl. So for now, while I am deep in the trenches of motherhood, I will try to lean on those who support me (thanks for letting me vent today Pama. I seriously needed it & am so grateful that no matter what, we will always have each others backs). I try to remember how far she has come. I try to remember that no matter what, I will always love her more than I can comprehend, more than she can comprehend.

Mikayla got lots of fun puzzles for Christmas. She has really loved being able to set the pieces out and see which ones go where & putting them together. I have loved watching her use her mind in that capacity.

At some point last year John and I sat down and we made a chore chart for Mikayla. She gets a certain amount of money (ranges from a nickel to a quarter) for certain chores. She loooooooves doing the dishes. She will slide a kitchen chair over to the sink if there is dishes there, roll up her sleeves and she will start doing them!! I never want to shut that down or deter her from it, and I love seeing it as time that we can spend together being productive! So we usually end up doing them together! She also loves to help me unload/load the dishwasher.

WE have been drinking a lot of hot chocolate around here lately! I found these cute little pink heart marshmallows and Kayla has loved them!

My friend introduced me to a "minimalist" way of life, and it has been fabulous! We donated so many of mikaylas toys that hadn't ben played with in forever and were taking up space. We have gone through so much of our stuff and donated/tossed it. It has been wonderful! I did not realize how mentally/emotionally attached that I was to things. It was ridiculous and our house feels physically lighter and I like being here more! Kayla's room is nearly done- I want to get some white floating shelves and a few other things- but I love it and so does she!

Mikayla failed her eye exam at her 4 year wellness check- so back to the eye doctor we went (one year ago she was borderline glasses) She has a pretty big astigmatism and has (what I think is) a pretty good prescription for a 4 year old! The eye doctor said that it is not critical that she wears them all the time, but getting her to keep them on and used to them by kindergarten, when he predicts her prescription will really go up and have to have them on at all times. She has actually fairly good at keeping them on. She enjoyed being able to try a bunch of different pairs on- and the ones she picked out are cute & just her style!!

I have wanted to try calligraphy for awhile. The book that my friend recommended has been out of stock on amazon for a loooong time. So, armed with my 40% off coupon, I headed to Hobby Lobby and got a few beginner materials. I am not great by any means, but I have had a lot of fun practicing!

We took Mikayla swimming this past Friday night. Mikayla had such a fun time! I made sure she had all of her floaties she did fantastic swimming on her own (someone was always super, super close) I think she will do wonderful in swimming lessons this coming summer.

If you have followed my other blog at all, you know that we have a lot of fertility struggles the past 3 years or so. After a long consult with my fertility doctor, we took the plunge. I went in for an appointment on the exact right cycle day. We started a treatment of FERMA Monday. I go in for an HSG test this coming Friday. Next week I go in for an ultrasound to measure my follicles on my ovaries, then I will get a trigger shot, than I will get another ultrasound to see if they have grown enough. Hoping that this results in a cute little Baby Wissink! The medication has not been too bad. I was expecting it to be a lot like Clomid (every symptom, all day & all night, full force) I have been going from freezing to super hot all day long and a tad bit more emotional, but other than that, it has not really been too bad! I am extremely grateful for doctors who have the same goal that John & I have- to make us become parents again!

We went and visited dad at work! Kayla and I haven't seen his new work area since he got promoted almost six months ago. It was fun to see him in his element, meet some of the coworkers that he talks so much about! Duncan Aviation has been such a great company to work for.

Valentines Day was a lot of fun around here. Generally it is not a holiday that John and I have ever really celebrated. However, with Mikayla getting older and starting to understand things more, we have been incorporating fun traditions. I made pink, heart shaped pancakes for breakfast. Than for dinner Kayla helped me make homemade heart shaped pizzas. We made chocolate covered strawberries the day before, so we each enjoyed one of those after dinner. John and I had the rest of them after Kayla went to bed.

I discovered this cute little store,  I ordered the pink bath bomb for Mikayla (bubble gum- it comes with a fun little toy in the middle of it) I got a valentines day one- cupid- (red one) and this fabulous blue bar is a pain relief bubble bar. This is my first time trying the bubble bar, but I hear you can get quite a few baths out of it! I am excited to try it. The white bar is a massage bar that melts on your skin and you get a rub down ;) That one is multiple use & I am super excited to try it!! The purple ball is an adult bath bomb too. When we get some extra money I want to do a little stock pile so I don't have to order for awhile. But seriously- well made, fantastic & they make your skin sooooooooooo sooooooo sooooooo sooo soft!! Try 'em out!!

Mikayla has really been enjoying  ballet lately and getting into it! This is my favorite tutu/leotard that she has.

Mikayla has also being doing fabulous in occupational therapy!! The feeding therapy has been really helping and truly life changing!! I cannot say enough good things about her two therapists (Stacey and Julie). She started speech therapy last week with Julie and I am excited to see where that takes her. She is not very delayed in speech- she is just incredibly shy, so she clams up when someone who she isn't 100% comfortable around tries to talk to her. She has been working really hard in therapy and has really made a lot of improvements in the sensory & eating areas! I am beyond grateful that we have found wonderful occupational therapists.

That is about it for an update on our lives! We are just enjoying each other, taking advantage of this gorgeous weather we have been having lately!!