Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Pottying, Fertility & so much more!

You guys, potty training is making me rethink my entire existence. It doesn't matter what we do, do not do, rewards, what we take away from her, Mikayla REFUSES to consistently potty on the toilet. We let her pick out her toilet seat. We let her pick out her own underwear multiple times. I even did a lot of research and found underwear that is special fabric for kids that have sensory struggles- like our little Mikayla. Nothing. Works. Ever. After today I very well may blow a fuse.

My sweet little darling went through every single pair of pants, leggings and underwear that she owns today. In one single day. She had to resort to wearing a dress to speech therapy. Don't get me wrong, I love love love love love love love this little girl & the gratitude I feel for the chance to be her mother is off the charts. But I am losing my sanity and mind over here. I have had people tell me, "she will do it when she is ready"; "don't push her, that will make it worse"; "just take her pull ups away and force her into underwear" and my very favorite "set a timer and force her to go to the bathroom". I don't know about you, but if someone forced me to go sit on the toilet ever hour, I would probably be pretty pissed and throw a fit too. But I preserve and we are trying....really hard! She stays 100% dry during nap time (when she even takes one anyone) and during the night. When we go to the store, or in the car, or to grandmas house (when we are there with her) she does not have a single accident. It is such a power struggle, and it's a real struggle. Just when I feel like a complete failure and ready to give up and not care anymore- something amazing happens. Like today- Mikayla stood in the corner of the room after having 3 accidents. We had just changed her pants from the pee (I force her to change herself, wipe herself off, etc) she stood there, staring straight at me, and pooped in her underwear. I made her go to her room, get undressed, clean herself up the best that she could and than get dressed again. I was putting her shoes on her and she grabbed the picture of her and I at the KC Temple on our sealing day. She looked at it, and said "Mommy & Me forever!!!! I love You!" She said it in a soft, loving, reverent tone and I could not be upset at her anymore. **On a side note- she DID fall in to the toilet the other day-so I was a little bit easier on her that day**

She will not always have accidents. She will not always refuse to sit on the potty. She will not always be super upset when I refuse to give her a pull up, telling her that I did not buy any more and she is out. She will not always want to hold my hand when we are walking either. She will get over wanting to spend time with me, showing me and telling me every little second of the day she had if I was not with her. She will not always be my little girl. So for now, while I am deep in the trenches of motherhood, I will try to lean on those who support me (thanks for letting me vent today Pama. I seriously needed it & am so grateful that no matter what, we will always have each others backs). I try to remember how far she has come. I try to remember that no matter what, I will always love her more than I can comprehend, more than she can comprehend.

Mikayla got lots of fun puzzles for Christmas. She has really loved being able to set the pieces out and see which ones go where & putting them together. I have loved watching her use her mind in that capacity.

At some point last year John and I sat down and we made a chore chart for Mikayla. She gets a certain amount of money (ranges from a nickel to a quarter) for certain chores. She loooooooves doing the dishes. She will slide a kitchen chair over to the sink if there is dishes there, roll up her sleeves and she will start doing them!! I never want to shut that down or deter her from it, and I love seeing it as time that we can spend together being productive! So we usually end up doing them together! She also loves to help me unload/load the dishwasher.

WE have been drinking a lot of hot chocolate around here lately! I found these cute little pink heart marshmallows and Kayla has loved them!

My friend introduced me to a "minimalist" way of life, and it has been fabulous! We donated so many of mikaylas toys that hadn't ben played with in forever and were taking up space. We have gone through so much of our stuff and donated/tossed it. It has been wonderful! I did not realize how mentally/emotionally attached that I was to things. It was ridiculous and our house feels physically lighter and I like being here more! Kayla's room is nearly done- I want to get some white floating shelves and a few other things- but I love it and so does she!

Mikayla failed her eye exam at her 4 year wellness check- so back to the eye doctor we went (one year ago she was borderline glasses) She has a pretty big astigmatism and has (what I think is) a pretty good prescription for a 4 year old! The eye doctor said that it is not critical that she wears them all the time, but getting her to keep them on and used to them by kindergarten, when he predicts her prescription will really go up and have to have them on at all times. She has actually fairly good at keeping them on. She enjoyed being able to try a bunch of different pairs on- and the ones she picked out are cute & just her style!!

I have wanted to try calligraphy for awhile. The book that my friend recommended has been out of stock on amazon for a loooong time. So, armed with my 40% off coupon, I headed to Hobby Lobby and got a few beginner materials. I am not great by any means, but I have had a lot of fun practicing!

We took Mikayla swimming this past Friday night. Mikayla had such a fun time! I made sure she had all of her floaties she did fantastic swimming on her own (someone was always super, super close) I think she will do wonderful in swimming lessons this coming summer.

If you have followed my other blog at all, you know that we have a lot of fertility struggles the past 3 years or so. After a long consult with my fertility doctor, we took the plunge. I went in for an appointment on the exact right cycle day. We started a treatment of FERMA Monday. I go in for an HSG test this coming Friday. Next week I go in for an ultrasound to measure my follicles on my ovaries, then I will get a trigger shot, than I will get another ultrasound to see if they have grown enough. Hoping that this results in a cute little Baby Wissink! The medication has not been too bad. I was expecting it to be a lot like Clomid (every symptom, all day & all night, full force) I have been going from freezing to super hot all day long and a tad bit more emotional, but other than that, it has not really been too bad! I am extremely grateful for doctors who have the same goal that John & I have- to make us become parents again!

We went and visited dad at work! Kayla and I haven't seen his new work area since he got promoted almost six months ago. It was fun to see him in his element, meet some of the coworkers that he talks so much about! Duncan Aviation has been such a great company to work for.

Valentines Day was a lot of fun around here. Generally it is not a holiday that John and I have ever really celebrated. However, with Mikayla getting older and starting to understand things more, we have been incorporating fun traditions. I made pink, heart shaped pancakes for breakfast. Than for dinner Kayla helped me make homemade heart shaped pizzas. We made chocolate covered strawberries the day before, so we each enjoyed one of those after dinner. John and I had the rest of them after Kayla went to bed.

I discovered this cute little store,  I ordered the pink bath bomb for Mikayla (bubble gum- it comes with a fun little toy in the middle of it) I got a valentines day one- cupid- (red one) and this fabulous blue bar is a pain relief bubble bar. This is my first time trying the bubble bar, but I hear you can get quite a few baths out of it! I am excited to try it. The white bar is a massage bar that melts on your skin and you get a rub down ;) That one is multiple use & I am super excited to try it!! The purple ball is an adult bath bomb too. When we get some extra money I want to do a little stock pile so I don't have to order for awhile. But seriously- well made, fantastic & they make your skin sooooooooooo sooooooo sooooooo sooo soft!! Try 'em out!!

Mikayla has really been enjoying  ballet lately and getting into it! This is my favorite tutu/leotard that she has.

Mikayla has also being doing fabulous in occupational therapy!! The feeding therapy has been really helping and truly life changing!! I cannot say enough good things about her two therapists (Stacey and Julie). She started speech therapy last week with Julie and I am excited to see where that takes her. She is not very delayed in speech- she is just incredibly shy, so she clams up when someone who she isn't 100% comfortable around tries to talk to her. She has been working really hard in therapy and has really made a lot of improvements in the sensory & eating areas! I am beyond grateful that we have found wonderful occupational therapists.

That is about it for an update on our lives! We are just enjoying each other, taking advantage of this gorgeous weather we have been having lately!!