John and Kate

Living on my own...

2011-06-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

Well, not everything worked out in New York the way it was planned to, so I moved back home to Nebraska. I moved into the basement of someone who I know, and I LOVE having my own place!! I decided to finally upload pictures!! Here is my bedroom

The other half of my bedroom

Part of my living room

My Dining Room area

My living Room

My Bathroom

The other part of my bathroom

My favorite Scripture and a picture of the Temple

I am very much enjoying living on my own and having my independence!

Just a few people

2011-03-14T07:07:00.000-07:00

Just a few pictures of the awesome people I have met here

Brooke and I

Ira and I

All the Relief Society people

Manhatten for the first time

2011-03-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

At Time's Square!!

A big M& M and I

Me in times square!

Big barbie house in the coolest toy store EVER. I wanted to buy my niece and nephew EVERYTHING in there!

We're in the left corner (me in checkered coat her in black coat)

Outside the diner

They sang and waited at the same time

They sang!

The YUMMIEST DINER EVER!!!! They sing to you and it's AMAZING!! It was right across from Time's Square.

My friend Brooke, who is an Au Pair from Australia!

A beautiful fountain in front of The New York City Ballet and New York City Opera

The Manhatten Temple! My camera wasn't liking adjusting to the night at this point very much.

Never changing

2011-02-11T22:34:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in Fast and Testimony Meeting last Sunday in my Singles Ward thinking about big of a blessing the Gospel really is. I am starting to get really nervous about getting on an airplane on Monday Morning. All these negative things are going through my head. What if I fail? What if it is NOTHING like I am expecting? What if the daughter is playing her mom up and she's nothing like she has been telling me? What if New York really is too far away from my family? And many, many more thoughts.

And than I take a second to quietly thing. I have prayed endlessly about this move, I have spoken to many, many different people about it, consulted my Bishop even. I feel peace about it. All change (for me) brings a nervous stomach and sometimes shaky hands. I just need to remember that it I was not meant to be there, I would not have felt the peace that I have while praying.

Anyway, while sitting in Fast and Testimony meeting, I was thinking that I have absolutely nothing out there, and nobody; and that makes me excited and scares me both at the same time. And than I stopped myself from thinking like that and really really really thought about it. I realized no matter where I go in the world, I will always have a connection to someone. There is such an amazing connection within the church that when I get to long island, I will most certainly not be alone, and that is such an amazing feeling when you are moving across the country by yourself. I am grateful that the gospel is never changing, and that when I get to my ward next week on Sunday, I'll have the same lessons that I would be getting here. I think that's awesome.

Things are still set for me to leave Monday. :)

Here I go

2011-01-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

I am leaving on the adventure of a lifetime some time next week. I have accepted a job on Long Island, New York "nannying" for a really, really rich woman. This woman, we'll call her Amy, had a stroke about five weeks ago. Her husband is some big shot CPA or something like that. Amy's depth perception is awful now, and she cannot drive. I will be driving her to different appointments, taking her shopping,etc. I am excited for this opportunity!! more fun to come!

So much has happened!

2011-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

In December (right before Christmas) I flew to Utah and surprised my cousin & Best friend! She had no idea that I was coming it was pretty awesome.

For our Christmas Eve Pajamas, Katrina (Chris's fiance) and I got footsie's. AMAZING.

Last weekend, my friend Whitney and I went shooting! It was the first time I had ever held any sort of gun at all, but not her's. We shot about five different handguns.

Our target

We went to HuHot for lunch before going shooting, I tried squid for the first time!

Two major things

2010-11-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

So many exciting things have happened in the past month; I will just highlight a few of the things. First off, My mom, brother, his girlfriend at the time, and I took off and went to Utah to be at the beautiful sealing of my cousin and best friend, Pama.

This past Friday night, my brother and his girlfriend got engaged! So there will be another wedding sometime next year.

Life as of lately...

2010-08-15T21:15:00.001-07:00

I have been hanging out with the little lady alot, especially since the little man has arrived.

We went golfing for FHE (Family Home Evening) a couple of weeks ago

This past weekend we (the singles ward) went on a camping trip to Branched Oak Lake and it was really fun. Lots of people came, but not that many people stayed the night. Chris and I roasting marshmellows

Me doing who knows what

The group of us who went for late night swim. it was FUN.

Baby nephew

2010-07-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

It wont let me update any pictures at all(Girrr) anyone know why?

Anyone- monday my sister was induced because her blood pressure was too high. Tuesday morning at 12:17, Matthew was welcomed into the world by C-Section. We love him so much already. He was 6 pounds, 5 ounces.

Intense Update..

2010-07-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

There hasn't been too much to report on lately. So, I guess we'll start (by month) what's been going on in my life.

June.

The beginning of June my brother and I packed up and left way too early, and journyed up to Idaho and Utah. My brother is attending BYU-Idaho in the Fall (September) so we went up there and found his housing. It was a fun trip, and we were able to see a lot of friends while up there. Chris stayed with one of his former mission companions, and I stayed with a friend from Lincoln, who is now an adorably married for one year :)

We than headed onto Utah, and saw our stepgrandparents. We stayed with them for about one week. We had a lot of new adventures, and fun things were had. My brother and I went to go to Mt. Timpanogious, and it ended up being closed. So, on the way back down the windy, scary mountain road, we stopped at a beautiful waterfall to take pictures, and we ended up climbing it. It was really fun. We also had a moose run in front of us. We hit Park City Outlet Mall up. It was amazing, and I am now in love with those chain of outlet stores!! I of course had to do SOME shopping (I am a girl after all) I soon found out that they have designer stores mixed in there, so we went and checked them out. I got my first pair of Tommy Hilfiger flip-flops (they were suppose to be sold at a regular store for $45. Got em for $12.00) and 3 fossil watches (only one face, but 3 different bands) for $50.00 for everything! I am absoutly in love with the Fossil store!

We were also able to go do a session at the Salt Lake Temple. It was amazing. I love that Winter Quarters temple is so close to my home, and that is the temple that I have grown up going to. But I LOVE being able to go to different temples, and doing baptism sessions there. Every time I got to a different one (well, I've only ever been to Nauvoo for another one) it's a wonderful feeling. It wasn't at all what I expected, time wise. I was a bit early, and I was expecting to have to wait until 7:00 ( I got there at about 6:45ish) but nope- they sent me straight through as an individual! So, I was done with my session before my brother had even started his. So, while he was doing his thing, I walked across the street and checked out Deseret Book (for like the 100th time since we had been there) and grabbed a missionary prep book and Preach My Gospel for a prep for my mission. Can never start prepping too soon right? :) And, although we loved the mountains, the overall feel of Utah, we had to go home. Neither one of us wanted to leave, it was actually really hard.

When we got back- the search for a job was back on! I had a few interviews, but nothing looked TOO promising. I prayed a lot, and hoped with all my heart that I would be able to find SOMETHING, anything. And than I was offered a job at Carters Outlet Store in Gretna, Nebraska. The best part of it is that I get a 25% discount on everything (even Clearance) That's my favorite part. I am enjoying it very much so far.

I found out that one of my best friends that I grew up with, is pregnant. I was able to go with her to her first ultrasound since her fiance was working. It was amazing, and the little guy is so tiny. I am excited for her and her fiance.

Another major milestone that I made was I started going to the Singles Ward! I was a bit weery of going, but after much persuasion from my brother, I finally decided to make the plunge. And boy am I glad that I did! I absoutly LOVE the ward! The people there are great, and the Bishop is awesome. It is so much more relaxed than my home ward. I love being able to relate to the women better in Relief Socity. None of us have kids, we're all college students just trying ot stick to our values and make it through. We're all kind of in the same boat :) A little funny things to illistrate: in between Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School I checked my facebook ( I know, I know- bad Mormon, whatever) In sacrament meeting, the Bishop had given a parable as part of his talk. Well, I put something that he said as my facebook status. Here's how it went:

Kaylin (My sister): Why are you on facebook while at church and why did your BISHOP comment on it while HE shouldn't be on facebook either??

Me: Um...well, you see.....I follow by example? I mean, if the bishop is doing it......

Yah..that didn't go over very well, but now it's something we laugh about. I swear that my sis is anti-facebook, anti-texting (it's hilarous to watch her try and text off of my touch screen phone though)

My baby niece turned two on the 25th of June. I can't believe that she's that big already! She's trying so hard to be independant and such a little person. It has truly been a joy to get to cuddle her, laugh with (and at, sometimes) teach her different things, rock her to sleep, feed her. It's just been such a joy. Before Lindsay, I wasn't really comfortable around kids. But now, I will do the stupist things just go keep the kid happy, and I am most definatly comfortable around kids now.

I am excited to welcome my nephew into the world hopefully sometime soon. He's gonna be such a little stud :)

I have been sick with some sort of awful virus as of late. Tuesday night I was at the store with my sister, and I got really hot. When I got home I took a shower, and layed down and read a book for a little bit. I took my temp, and boy was it high! Took some tylenol, thought I'd be good, but I had another thing coming! I was so stinking sick. I had a high fever all night, finally got about 2 hours of sleep around 4am. Than the next morning I got up and called my family doctor. I was super dizzy, had a headache, was nasueated, and had the fever. So they got me in pretty much right away. I was then sent to the hospital, where they kept my outpatient and had to do an IV because I was so dehydrated. My doctor wanted to keep me outpatient, and told me she could do that as long as my fever stopped spiking up and down. Well, luckily it did! I was able to go home about 3 hours after I was admitted on the infusion floor. It really wasn't the best experience I've had at a hospital.

I was also diagnosed with Endermetreosis right before we left for Utah. I have been on various medications, but none of them have worked- so it looks like the next step is to do surgery, which that will most likely take place in July, or August. It's a quick recovery, and if we time it right, I wont have to take any time off work at all.

I was going to take a few classes at the college here during the summer, but my financial aid came back and said they wouldn't pay for any summer classes. Kinda dissapointing, but I'll just work till Fall and I start up on the Academic year again. Major? Ha. Who the heck knows. Running List: Counseling, Social Work, Nursing, Journalism, Radiology, High School English Teacher, Music Teacher. My problem is I KNOW I can do Journalism and teach english, because (totally not cocky or bragging or anything) I am really good at english. I can write (and have written) some pretty amazing things. In fact, I've even won an award for a poem. But I want something that will challenge me, something I love. Social Worker's are poor. But I think that might be what I REALLY want to do. But I love music too. So I guess we'll see. I mean, I have like 3 years to REALLY decide what to do, right? So, this summer I will be working part time at Carters, and then helping my siser with the little man and the little lady.

Well, congratulations if you got through all of that and thanks for sticking with me through that ordeal :) I think that was the majority of an update on my life (or the good stuff anyway) Overall, I dont think I can complain that much. I am (half-way) healthy, I have a wonderful family, am extremely blessed with the Gospel, have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and my car always has gas in it. What more could I ask for?

I'm going to end with a few scriptures that I LOVE. They have helped me lately.

D&C 122:7-8 " (7) And if thou shouldst be cast into the apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep, the the billowing surge conspire agains't thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness; and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open wide the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and be for thy good. (8)The Son of man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

And she's two..

2010-06-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

Happy SECOND birthday to my beautiful niece. it has been a joy to have gotten to help with you these last two years.

[I tried uploading a picture, but it wouldn't let me]

Listen to your mama

2010-05-04T15:07:00.000-07:00

You know when you were younger and your mom would say, "Make sure, when you use a sharp knife, to alwys cut AWAY from yourself" Well, after slicing my finger open, requiring like 5 stichtes, and 3 painful shot of lidocaine in the the tip of my finger, I have learned to listen to my mother from now on. Ouch is right. I would have a picture, but my camera is being frustrating. So, maybe later. For now, you can just imagine a fat, swollen finger with 5 stichtes in it, with benodine [thats the brown stuff they sterolize your skin with. like before you have surgery or give blood] all over it, and a HUGE gauze wrap over the whole finger.

New chapter

2010-03-31T15:23:00.001-07:00

There are many different stages in a person's life. If I wanted to get technical, I could go into Freud's Psychosexual theories [sorry, I've taken too many counseling and psychology classes] There are milestones, and bridges to be crossed in order to become an adult. One of them is graduating high school, going to college [or at least taking college classes] A major thing for me was moving out of my house. Although, I seem to make it back there every weekend..hm..interesting.

I've been praying about what to do with my life. I have decided to put it in the Lord's hands, and he will direct me in the right path, and not lead me astray. I have been taking a little bit different approach to praying also. Before, I felt like I wasn't really getting answers [or one's that I wanted anyway] So I decided I would make up my mind on a matter, then go to Heavenly Father in prayer and see if it felt right or not.

I knew that I needed to get out Wayne. I love the school, the campus is wonderful and the professor's are amazing. But here's the downfall: Lack of LDS or LDS support. It major sucks, for lack of better terms. So I always came home on the weekends so that I would have motivation on Sunday's to get up and go to church. I decided that it is time for a change. Will I be attending Wayne State College next year?

No.

But where will I be going, is what you may be asking.

I am not sure.

But, I do know that I want a more LDS environment, and that I want to be around more members my age who hold the same standards that I do.

So, where does an individual go to find such a flock of people?

Utah or Idaho of course.

Well, this girl is packing up and heading out to Utah the first week of June. I will be working and living with my step-dad's mom and his step-dad. Yes, they love me. And yes, like my mom said, they will probably be too good to me and spoil me. Oh well, I guess that comes with the advantage of living with a grandmum [she's British ya know]

In all seriousness, I am excited to start this new chapter in my life. It just feels right

Elder Brown is H.O.M.E

2010-03-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

This is the amazing welcome home Sign Pama and I made him.

Lindsay and I waiting at the airport to meet Uncle Chris for the first time

His plane FINALLY touched down.

it was actually right on time

here it comes....

and it's here!

Not a good picture at all, but after mom got the first hug, I ran up to him and jumped him. And yes- he actually caught me. lol

Hugging his older sister and meeting his niece

The Tarver's girls' made a cute sign [we had signs but they got forgotten at the house] He had quite the welcoming home committee, our Aunt Betty, Uncle Johny, cousin Ned, cousin [and my best friend Pama] Aunt June, The Tarver Family, Lindsay, Kaylin, Mom and I. After we picked him up we proceeded to go to my grandma's house where we stayed for a whole half hour than headed over to the church so that Elder Brown became Chris again. It has been awesome having him home, and we're going to make the most out of it until he leaves for Idaho in September [BOOOOO]

The things we do for men..

2010-02-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

So I got this cute idea to make these from another blog. I thought, they couldn't be THAT hard right? Well- it was an adventure- but way fun to make. The picture below is how their suppose to look....This is how mine turned out: [made four, but these are only two]

My friend Kayla she helped lots!!

I actually made these and gave them to my boyfriend and put a little cute twist on them [ I wont share on here because I know that my sister is reading this] :) love ya sis

I snagged him...sorry ladies.

2010-01-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

Well, theres nothing to really update on other then I'm now dating this cutie :)

Meet Marty

2010-01-18T09:07:00.001-08:00

I have my own little welcoming committee in my room!! :) Meet MARTY. Marty is a fun loving guy with his own little personality..compliments of Walmart. Just kidding...I had to buy him.

I like to think that he is waving his little fin in this picture. There will be a sign saying "Marty Welcomes You" coming soon!

New Room

2010-01-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

I did rearrange things at this point, but I hadn't made it cute yet.

I didn't exactly get a new room, but my roommate moved out SOOO, I get the room to myself since the person who runs this joint says there's no need to consolidate rooms unless necessary!!

The following pictures are the finished (well- almost!) room; it is a work in progress.

My desk area- I just slid the two desks together- more room for me!! :)

Thanks to my awesome grandma who bought me this cute bookshelf and my awesome friend Kayla who put it together for me!! It looks great and I think it makes the room look finished.

They wouldn't let me take the second bed and second desk out..i had to come up with something. I guess this way when I have my cousin come stay up here for a weekend (ahem PAMA) she will have a real bed to sleep in!

The fish bowl will have a real fish in it one day soon....don't expect anything too fancy, I am a poor college student. $.50 gold fish it is! Maybe I'll even spring for TWO...watch out!

Goals and resolutions

2010-01-06T16:26:00.000-08:00

After reading my past young womens leader's blog and friend, her post on resolutions for 2010 made me realize that I have yet to set any resolutions. I was writing my brother an Email a while back and I was talking about how much I have changed since he has left, and how I am proud of some of the changes that I have made. Just as he will be different when he comes back, so will I. This also got me to thinking about what has changed for me these past few years. In Relief Society this past Sunday the missionaries came in and something that they said really hit me. They read out of a talk, "Look to the future, and dont look back and remenasce on the past" or something like that. It made me think, what do I want to happen in 2010? What do I want to change about myself? About my relationship with others? What have I done in 2009 to make me a better person? To make my relationship with others better? So, I have been thinking, here is a review of my year 2009.

2009 in review
A lot of change happened to me in 2009. In May I graduated from High School (still not sure how THAT happened...just kidding) In August I was thrown way out of my comfort zone and moved 3 hours away from home to where I only knew one person. Luckily she was on the floor below me in the same dorm building, but we ended up rooming for all but 3 weeks of the semester. I matured a lot by moving away from home, people treat me like an adult, like I can make my own decesions and like I have grown up. Amazing how moving away from home makes that work. The doctors figured out why I kept getting so sick (gluten allergy) we were able to fix (eating no gluten...tougher then it sounds) and now my biggest health problem is the ovarian cysts (PCOS) that keep getting worse and worse. I have struggled a lot with this problem, but am trying my best to deal with it. I actually kept my 2009 resolution that I set. It was to stop saying the word retarded, as it became a lot more personal when my friend and someone who I look up to alot had a daughter diagnosed with Down Syndrome.My mom got remarried November 28th. Two girls' moved into my house in July right before I left for school. I went on a very spiritual and very moving trip to Nauvoo with my cousin Pama in July. We had experiences there that changed both our lives, and changed a few of both our ways. Pama is my best friend, and I was very glad to go with her I can't imagine having those experiences that I did with anyone other than Pama. I took about $100 of my Christmas money and helped a family that could not afford to have Christmas and gave them a Christmas. It was an awsome feeling to help someone who couldn't do something for themself. I started volunteering at an emergency shelter for domestic abuse/sexual assault in August; it has truly been a humbling experience. Although I had to do 30 hour of volunteer work for my counseling class, I have done well over 40, I think I am on the verge of 50. I truly enjoy being there with the women. They are such an inspiration for me and have gotten me through some very personal things these past few months.

2010
My goal is to get more healthy. To become competely gluten free (like I should be now- but it is really harder then it sounds) Not neccessarily skinny (although that would be FABULOUS) I would like to maintain a healthy weight. This year I also want to be more of a missionary. My brother is a full-time missionary. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is consumed by serving our Lord. I figure I can share the gospel more..be a better example of what a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints truly are. I also want to be a better daughter. My mom and I haven't gotten along very well, but I feel like these past few months have helped our relationship. Or me moving out and only seeing her on the weekends- that could be it too :) I also want to lean more on our loving Heavenly Father. I am HORRIBLE at reading my scriptures and praying- but that is something that I will do every day..faithfully. Along with writing in my journal, I used to be really good at it- but not so much since I have gotten into college. It really helped me in the past, so I really need to get back into it. Another goal of mine is to focus on the Savior and not my week when I take the sacrament.

These are just a few of the things that I have done in 2009 and things that I want to do in 2010.

Looking to the future...or just 2010

2009-12-31T21:03:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I am most excited for is for this guy to come home. March 9th 2010 to be precise.

Highlights of 2009

2009-12-31T20:27:00.000-08:00

Here are some highlights from 2009:
I started my first semester of college in August at Wayne State College. This is some of the friends that I made up there (so far)

My sweetcheeks turned one When I went to Utah at the end of June/beginning of July, I went on my first motorcylce ride. It was pretty dang fun.

On that same trip to Utah- I went to "This is the Place" for the first time.

I went to Nauvoo with my cousin Pama in July. We had some very spiritual experiences together and it will be a trip that will never be forgotten by either of us...

Myt mom got in July and married November 28th. Sorry- no pictures of the wedding yet.

I was reunited with my love of coloring during finals week. It is an awsome stress reliever k?

My grandma bought me a new car. 2006 Kia Optima in July.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-26T14:03:00.000-08:00

Well- it seems crazy that Christmas has come and gone already. We had a crazy house hold full of people. My stepdad's biological sons, and thier half brother and sister. It was a crazy time, and they finally just left. Victoria and I

This is Lily, my mom and stepdad have had her for probably 2 months. She's so fun and four months old. we had some cuddling time.

Lindsay enjoyed being on the table...alot.

This is a little girl that came and stayed when my stepdad's sons came. She was cute and like a little sister all week.

Lindsay enjoyed her Christmas stocking...as you can see, so did Joe.
Kaylin gave joe this big thing of Russell Stover chocolates...he became very protective of them.

Lindsay got a stroller from Aunt Katie (that'd be me) and she really loves it

Finals

2009-12-17T22:29:00.001-08:00

Apparently college psychology is hard? Well I just got some of my final grades. Counseling: A. Psychology: B- :) Now I just have to wait for math and composition. I rock at english so I'm sure I got an A in comp. I have a 3.35GPA right now...but we'll see after my math grade (whatever it is) goes in. :/ On my final Wednesday I was fine until the 3rd page, and then I started to cry....is that a good or bad sign?! Hm....we'll see.

Christmas this year

2009-12-14T19:26:00.000-08:00

This year for Christmas I am trying something new. As I have posted before, I volunteer at a non-profit place for women who have been domestically abused/sexually assaulted. I think that they generally deal with more of the domestically abused population though. Anyway- since this is my first year here at college, obviously it's my first year volunteering at this place. Well, I was talking to the Program Director when I was in there today and they do this adopt a family-type-of thing. Since it is non-profit they don't have a lot of funding and do the best that they can. All the families had been adopted but this one. I cannot disclose any details due to confidentiality (not that I would anyway) but she just left her husband one week ago today and has literally nothing. I talked to the director and I talked to my mom and I adopted them!

But here's the thing- and here's what will be different this Christmas then any other one. I asked my mom to take money that she would spend on me, give me that money so that I can go spend it on them (adopting them means I buy them gifts for Christmas so they have some) instead of getting that many more presents. I feel like it is a good thing for me to do and I feel good about helping them. I get so much for Christmas every year & they have nothing this year and she has two little kids, I believe they are six and eight years old. That is just a horrible thought to think that they would only have one gift, or none at all.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

2009-12-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

My roommate and I decorated our Christmas tree the other night! Natalie said it reminds her of a Charlie Brown Christmas!!

cutest

2009-12-07T20:43:00.000-08:00

I had to buy a humdifier for my dorm room up here at school. Isn't this one must the cutest? I think it is....oh- and my roommate agrees :)

A child's prayer

2009-11-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have two pretty major test's tomorrow. I have a study song (dont make fun of me) but it is "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT- I was looking through my music on my laptop and came across the Song "I need thee every hour" I have held this song near and dear to my heart since I have come to college. I need Heavenly Father now more then ever, and I know it.

One of my favorite songs out of the Primary Songbook is "A Childs Prayer" I was just listening to it and the words really hit me:

Heavenly Father are you really there?
and do you hear and answer every childs prayer?
some say that heaven is far away...
but I feel it close around me as I pray.

Heavenly father I remember now
something that Jesus told disciples long ago
suffer the children to come to me
Father in prayer now i'm coming to thee

Pray, he is there.
Speak, he is listening
you are his child
his love now surrounds you
he hears your prayer
he loves the children
for such is the kingdom
the Kingdom of God

I have heard this song my times, but the part that really stuck out to me (maybe because I am trying to cram all of this information into my head so I'm praying extra hard) is the part that I bolded. I love this song. I love this church. I love this gospel.

Blessed

2009-11-04T21:26:00.000-08:00

My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Picolut is one of my favorite books of all time. I have read it a million times; okay, maybe not a million, but around eight or nine times. I couldn't wait for the movie to come out and went and saw it in theaters the second day that it was out. It was a tear-jerking, amazing movie. Once a month my college puts on a new movie (they must think we are poor and can't afford to go see one or something lol) This month was My Sister's Keeper. I cried just as much tonight, (if not more) then the first time I saw it.

It made me think of my own sister and how much I love her. When we we're younger we fought ALL the time. And then I am not quite sure what changed....we changed; our relationship changed. We grew closer, we atcually talked; actually wanted to be related to each other.

I look at my niece. She's serisouly so fun- I love that kid to death. In the movie the Aunt Kelly was super involved. Was always there helping and just being there. I hope to be like that when I am older. I hope to know my nieces and nephews, I hope to be the one they will run to when they do something stupid and are too scared to go to my sister/brother-in-law. I want to be the one who is there for them.

I feel blessed and am grateful for my sister. Love ya sis

I Hate Halloween

2009-10-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

I have a right to be predjuice agaisn't Halloween. A RIGHT. Last year on Halloween Eve, (Oct.30th) I was helping Kaylin and Joe move into thier new apartment, fell, and ended up in the hospital with a dislocated foot. Ouch is right. Ouch is an understatment. Ouch is how Halloween (and months after) of 2008 went. Ouch is how halloween eve and halloween went for 2009. I went to the doctor yesterday during the day because I just wasn't feeling very good and thought that I might have another ovarian cyst. So, I went into my family doctor who thought it sounded more like appendacitis. So, she set up an ultrasound for this morning (Sat-31st) and told me that if i got any higher of a fever or more pain to go to the ER.

My mom randomly checked my head throughout the night to keep an eye on my fever; she said that I had a pretty good sized one...higher then it should be. Around midnight I couldn't take it anymore and my mom took me to the hospital. At this point I was cried out and in a lot of pain. SOO, she took me in and they checked me in and then the ER doctor (very nice woman) put me on Morphine and Zofran..only the two best drugs EVER. Anyway, I had to have a CT scan which meant I had to drink this yummy contrast stuff.....uck. they did that and come to find out I had a huge ovarian cyst that was full of infection rupture, causing the fever, nasuea, vomiting and pain. Everyone that helped me in the ER was really nice. My nurse kept a really good eye on my pain, I never once had to ask for more pain medication. she would come in and ask if I needed more Morphine, I would tell her yes or no, but if I told her yes- she was back within 3.2 seconds wtih a syrgine of it.

Does anybody hear her?

2009-10-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
but the cannon's ever widening
in the depths of her cold heart
so she sits out on another missed adventure just to find
shes another two years older and three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her?
can anybody see?
or does anybody even know she's going down today
under the shadow of the stepal
with all the lost and lonely people
searching for the hope that's tucked away with you and me
does anybody hear her?
can anybody see?

She is yearning for shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching for a hero
a hero to ride in and save the day
and in walks her prince charming
and he knows just what to say
in a momentary lapse of reason
she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
or does anybody know that she is going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
does anybody hear her? can anybody see?

If judgement looms under ever steeple
if lofty glances from lofty people
can't see past her scarlet letter and we
never even met her
if judegement looms under every steeple
if lofty glances from lofty people
cant see past her scarlet letter and we
never even met her

does anybody hear her? does anybody see?
oh does anybody even know shes going down today?
under the shadow of our steeple
with all the lost and lonely people
searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
does anybody hear her?
does anybody see?
does anybody even know she's going down today?
under the shadow of our steeple
with all the lost and lonely people
searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me.
does anybody hear her? does anybody see?

She is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction.

In my Major (Human Service Counseling) and the classes that I have taken so far in this major there is one thing that I have found the most common: losing hope, feeling alone, being judgemental is common for people to feel. I have felt this way, I know other's who have felt this way, and I know that other's will feel this way; thus, seeking for help is a must. And that is why I will be there to help with (in about a gazillion years when I am done with school).

I italicized and bolded some words because they stood out to me;and I want to expound upon them a little bit more. Oh- and by the way- part of the title of my blog is "Ramblings of a counseling student" so really, this post isn't too far out of sync with this blog. The following is coming from personal experiences and things that I know and have learned so far.

She is running a hundred miles and hour in the wrong direction: When you are depressed, feel like you dont belong, dont know who you are you run in any dircetion. you just go through the motions of living everyday- you do not know where you are going, who you are.

She is trying: sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don't go your way. And things just dont get better, a lot of the time it is out of your control if you are trying everything that you can possibly do.

Does anybody hear her? so many times people feel unheard, like they are just being looked over and that nobody is even hearing them, or even wants to hear them.

With all the lost and lonely people: so many people feel lost and lonely; like they have no where to turn, or anyone to turn to. So, they turn to self-destructive things, they turn to pornography and other horrible things.

she is searching for a hero: girls, or anybody really will search for anything, anyone to fill the void that they never found.

in walks her prince charming: especially with girls, when someone walks in that "saves you", when you are vulenrable and not in the right spot in your life then anybody will seem like your prince charming.

if lofty glances from lofty people: people who dont know the situation that you may be in, or perhaps that you have just come out of can be hurtful and harmful. Watch what you say, watch what you do, and watch who you do it to.

and we never even met her: one of the worst things that we, as people, as human beings can do to victims and people who have been hurt, or need help is to judge them. No matter what they have done, (okay- maybe not no matter what- I suppose you can judge murderers, rapist, etc.) you should never judge people. With my volunteer work at the domestic abuse/sexual assult place, I have learned the most common question asked of women who stay with thier abusers is Why? Why would you stay with someone who beats you? Why would you stay with someone who belittles you? Why would you stay with someone who, essentially could hate you? That is for another post, and I can only put my opinino and what I have learned so far as I am NOT a professional....yet. Give me a few more years (or a gazillion as I said before)

The song above is called "Does anybody hear her?" by Casting Crowns. I was listening to it and these thoughts popped into my head, and, as I said before, I am a counseling student, SOOOO, I figured I can post about it. after all, it is my blog. So, I guess if you take anything from this post (if you made it through the whole thing that is) it would be: dont be judgemental. You dont know everybody's situation.

Ski Resort

2009-10-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

My friends and I were kicking around ideas for spring break for this year. we are all freshmen and have never really had an offical spring break before. We were going to go up to Denver, Colorado and try to go skiing; that was until we called Katherine's dad. Her dad informed us that they have a time share that you can use anywhere in the world pretty much. So- we are going to Boyne Mountain Ski Resort in Michigan. The picture above is a picture of the main lodge area- it is SOOO exciting and we're all pumped to go!! :) It is my friend Heather, Katherine, Amanda and I. We are leaving Sunday, March 7th and leaving March 12th. We are way excited and can't wait!! Spring Break here we come!!! 133 days! The best part is that we dont have to pay a SINGLE PENNY for anything other then gas, food and shopping money. Oh- $52 for skiing lessons (If I want them)

Husker Cheerleader

2009-10-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

I got to babysit while Kaylin and Joe went to the Husker game this past Saturday. They dressed her up as a little Husker cheerleader and she was A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E!! But of course, this kid could be dressed in ANYTHING and she couldn't ever be ugly. Anyway- we were bored so I took her up to the Conservitory at Mahoney State Park and we saw the fishies, which she LOVED! we then ran around for a little bit, up and down the hills. we had a lot of fun :)

Scaryiness

2009-10-20T22:14:00.001-07:00

This is something that happened at my school this weekend. Go HERE to read it..I dont distintly remember her, I dont think was in any of my classes or anything, but it is still a shock reading this. I can't imagine being the one who found her, or her parents. I have learned from the fury of my past, that nobody, nobody can help those who dont want to be helped. No matter how hard they try, the person has to want to help themself; nobody can forcec anything onto anyone. Just read the article.

Pumped

2009-10-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, as I stated in my last post (just today) that I dont really have anything to post about now that all my life revolves around is: Psychology, Counseling, Topics in music, algebra and composition english. But, I did have something exciting happen today! I had psychology midterm (which I think I did OK on, but nothing too spectacular) and so I studied my butt off for that instead of Topics in Music test. Anyway, I took a test in my Topics In Music class on Thursday and was for sure that I was going to bomb it because I studied for maybe maybe Five minutes...if that. I somehow pulled a B out of it. =]

Job

2009-10-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

Nothing in my life has really been happening that is blog-worthy lately. I did get a job yesterday at this cute little place called, "Udder Delights". I will be serving ice-cream and making hamburgers, fries, running a grill. Easy stuff, I figure it can't be too hard.

Five months.....

2009-10-05T09:34:00.001-07:00

Just in case any of you are wondering, this kid, the one below, Chris Brown, a.k.a- Elder Christopher David Brown, gets home in approximately 5 months, 151 days or, if you really wanna break it down, (like I want to!!) it is about 3624 hours =]
Tis the sound of a very happy little sister blogger :)

What about the cookie lovin' toothbrush scrubbin' rollar skatin' Stamp collecting home inspector?

2009-10-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

So, as many of you may or may not know- October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So, it got me to thinking, October is also Domesic Violence and Sexual Assualt Awareness month. Since I am doing a lot of volunteer with this (domestic abuse) for my counseling class, it got me to also thinking what else is October the awareness month for? So, my friend crazily brought this thing (I have NO IDEA where she got it from) here are a list of other things that October is national for:

Animal Safety and Protection
Down Syndrome
Car Care
Breast Cancer
Communicate with your kid
cookie
crime prevention
dental hygiene
domestic violence
home inspection
popcorn poppin'
pork
Rollar Skating
Spinal Health
Stamp Collecting

Things I have been up to

2009-09-25T22:10:00.001-07:00

As I was ready other people's blogs, it dawned on me that I haven't really blogged lately. Nothing too entirely exciting has been happening up here in Wayne America. My classes are going good. I got a B on my Psychology test that I studied for for hours; serisouly, hours. I studied two hours Monday, two Tuesday, FOUR on Wednesday and then took the test Thursday morning. It was intense. Just a few things I have been up to:

Meeting cute boys- one in particular =] but he's another post....
Studying
Going to class EVERYDAY- haven't skipped one yet & dont plan to
Studying
Watching Grey's Anatomy (Anyone else cry?!?)
Watching Make it or Break it
Watching House
Going to South Dakota
Going to Iowa
Going to Physical Therapy
Finding out I have severe Arthritis in my foot from the dislocation last year
Studying
Avoiding the H1N1 like the plague
Volunteering at a shelter who helps Domestically abused women
Helping with a support group at the shelter for Domestic Abuse
Hanging out with friends
Watching people come into the dorm lobby drunk at 1a.m. it is REALLY entertaining
Did I mention studying?!

Things I have not been up to:

Shopping :(
Doing illegal things (like many people do here)

Before and After

2009-09-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

I ended up switching rooms and moving into one of my best friend's dorm room. she did not get along with her roommate at all, and so we thought it would be fun to room together!! Here are som before pictures.

Natalie and I went to walmart tonight and I bought these adorable stick on the wall thing's. They are for dorm rooms, so they come off. They were fun to organize and put on.

And this one is for you Kaylin. I have it on my desk so I see it EVERY DAY!! if you can't read it, it says "When life gets to be more than you can stand, Kneel"

Where my heart is....

2009-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone has heard the saying, "Home is where the heart is" This rings so true- and I have just now figured it out. I have been home less then 24 hours, and I am already excited to go back to my dorms, and back to college. I am excited to be here- sure. I had fun seeing my niece, sister and brother in law. I miss them dearly. But as for everyone else, it seems like since I have left we've grown apart.

My best friend, or suppose to be best friend, says she doesn't have "time" to hang out; when really, she's become best friends with "those-two-girls-that-live-in-my-house-that-could-one-day-be-my-stepsisters-but-will-never-be-that-to-me" (that's what I've gotten thier title down to, because they will never be my sisters. I have one sister and two brothers; that is all that I will ever have. Anyway- since they have gotten here, I haven't felt welcome, wanted or loved in my own home. So, in reality- I don't have a home here. My home is in Wayne, Nebraska. And that is because that is where my heart is.

Things I have learned and will soon experience while in college

2009-08-31T18:59:00.001-07:00

1) Money is money- when you need gas, it is okay to use two $1 bills, one $10 bill and $6.00 in quarters (I did that today)

2) Home is where you make it (Experienced It)

3) Do your homework, show up to class everyday, and be respectful to the teacher and more then likely you will pass (Having been doing it and have been doing good in my classes)

4) Drunk people are funny. yet dumb. (seen it)

5) Ask questions- you're paying the teacher (I do it)

6) Getting up and going to church is all on you

7) You're parental relationship really DOES get better when you move out and only call home to say hi and ask for money (I testify of it)

8) Just because your a counseling major, doesn't mean you don't need counseling yourself (So true)

9) Free stuff is good stuff- take advantage! (I do do this!)

10) Living in a building full of girls is not like an extended sleepover, it's like an estrogen filled air balloon ready to pop at any second (I live with it)

11) You can be whoever you want to be (I'm working on it)

12) Once you see your Counseling Professor in sweat-pant shorts and a t-shirt doing yoga, you don't look at him the same ever again (I experienced this one last Tuesday...akward)

13) High school really doesn't train you for college at all....they lie.

14) You no longer need an hour to get ready for the day- 10 minutes is a perfectly acceptable amount of time (It's true- I've learned 10 minutes is plenty time)

15) you can wear jeans more then twice before washing them (laundry is expensive-)

16) Brand-new text books are pointless. In fact- all textbooks are pointless (and if you need them, buy used)

17) Never step foot out of your room without shoes- especially the showers (gross)

18) Bum rides, money, snacks and notes whenever you can get them

19) I have learned to sleep with light, extreme noise, hot temp's and a roommate snoring (we do not have AC here)

20) My life will never be the same again (Life is more exciting and fun now!!)

21) Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night (I've only experienced until 1:30am so far)

Yoga

2009-08-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

So, my college offers Yoga Classes and I went to my first one tonight- it was relaxing until I look over to my right and there is my counseling teacher, in shorts and t-shirt doing yoga. with me. akward. I am really excited to go every week and gain more flexability and learn how to breath
and relax more.

Move in day & crazies with the friends

2009-08-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

College so far has been way fun! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it up here! Classes started today and I am really excited about it! Crazy story behind the fan- we got to my room and it was hot (no AC in the dorms) so we went and bought a fan. Well, none of us could figure out how to get it together so we left it for two nights. luckily it cools down here at nights.
I finally got it together. That is the face of happiness =]

This is my bed area.

My desk area

My sink area

Closet

My new friend Heather

Heather got some foam from this fair thingy, so we played with it for entertainment. It was good clean fun

Squintword!!!!

I threw my decorative pillow (I have three of them- pink, light blue and purple) at the ceiling and this is what came down off the light. I rolled over laughing and we all had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard.

Those same balls served as our babies.

Heathers baby and Natalies tumor. We come up with interesting things to do while everyone else is out partying and getting drunk...

great fun

2009-08-22T18:11:00.000-07:00

Well- I have been here at college for a little over a day and am loving it! =] everyone is so nice and kind- once they get the Wi-Fi up i will add pictures of my room!!!

New Adventures

2009-08-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

Just a mere four years ago I was a scared little freshmen who thought I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel of the torture known as high school. Then my Freshmen year came and went, followed by my Sophmore and then my Junior year. With Senior year came college applications (which ARE never ending-) Along with the college applications come the promises of new adventures, challenges, struggles, trials, but also joys and triumphs. Along with our right of passage from high school, better known as the graduation ceremony, came the promise of the next major adventure for each of my classsmates: College.

I never thought that I would see myself go to college. Now, I do not mean that I didnt' think I wouldn't go to college- what I mean is that it seems like just yesterday I was a little freshmen scared of asking to go get a drink, or go to the bathroom. As I sit here at 12:45am, I wonder where high school has gone. How in the world am I going to be a college Freshmen in 8 days; eight days. It is so weird to even type, nonetheless think out loud. As I lay here in my bed just typing away on my laptop I wonder where my life has gone- what have I REALLY dont in the last 18, almost 19 years that has really made a difference. Better yet, what will I do in the next 81 or 19 years that will make a difference in not only my life, but the lives of others out there.

I have everything that I need to go to my next phase of life. I have everything from a pink mirror to a polk-dotted rug to go on my floor of my dorm room. From a nice HP Laptop to a new 2006 Kia Optima Car; I am all set to go to college. Now it is the waiting game for one week, and one more day. I am getting N.E.R.V.O.U.S. I am scared that I will not make friends, I will get made fun of for getting up every Sunday and going to church; that people will think I am a goody-good girl.

I was in the shower once. Not once- I take a shower everyday, but I was thinking while I was int he shower and it hit me all of a sudden that who really cares about the following anymore now that I am out of high school: Who was prom king, who was prom queen, who most popular, who had the coolest car (or truck in Ashland- they are all hicks) who was the best in vollyball, football, softball, track, etc. Who really cares about all of that stuff?! Not me- I did in high school; but now it seems silly and dumb.

So, as I get ready to leave in excatly eight days, I look back on my high school years and look at the freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors and laugh because, no matter how much they are told, whoever makes prom and homecoming royalty and being the most popular are what they spend a lot of thier days worrying about; and it is nonsense and pointless. Nobody cares after you get out of high school. All they care about is which college you get into, what you are majoring in, and, most importantly, how you are going to pay for college.

I am excited to start college. Nervous, but excited. I know that it is time for me to move on and start the new adventures. :)

A few weeks late

2009-08-07T15:20:00.001-07:00

I cut my hair a couple of weeks ago & haven't posted about it yet. Sorry. Here is a picture

ONE BUG

2009-08-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

I got bit by once mosquito and this is what happened; just now. No joke. I got one bite and it spread like this- and I now have one on my hand. Should I be worried?

Nauvoo Trip 2009

2009-07-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

I had such an amazing time while in Nauvoo and felt the spirit so strongly. I have more to blog about, but dont have the time right now. More to come. This is Hyrum Smith's grave. It is amazing to think that these people, who lived so long ago and did so many wonderful, brave things bodies are actually there.

The Prophet

The Elect Lady; Joseph's wife

Pama and I

we went and watched the pagent practice for a while, it was really cool to see kind of "behind-the-scenes" we went and got ice-cream with John (Hyrum) and Jeff (Joseph) afterword. Above is a picture of Joseph and Emma. Yes- the women who plays Emma Smith is VERY blonde.

John and Jeff, otherwise known as Hyrum and Joseph; we got to know them pretty well while we were there and hung out alot.

Pama and I in front of the temple

I love this temple and it is where I want to get sealed at.

Jeff, John, Pama and I. It was really fun to get to know them!

The staircase that the mob ran up when they martyred our prophet and his brother

The cell they were kept in

this is the amount of light that they had- I believe that there were two windows like this; maybe three.

what terrible conditions our prophet; John Taylor and Hyrum were kept in. I can't imagine...

The bullet hole

This is how far our beloved Prophet fell

where his body landed

Pama and I waiting for a cute little play to start

our view on our drive back to Keokuk one night. This is the Mississippi River

Emma Smith and myself after a play about how the Relief Society came to be. Yes- this is the blonde woman in the picture above.

The orginal sisters in the Relief Society

When we were driving through Amish Country

we were able to go to the Pagent twice. It was awsome! I think that this is the type of person Joseph was. Took time to individually talk to each person who had concerns, etc.

Having fun with our shadows

The beautiful temple again- I cant imagine leaving it behind.....

Pama and I

Joseph and Emma in the pagent

Joseph

Joseph and Emma and thier families in the play

Pama tried to play the bagpipes- it was really funny to watch!! :)

A good picture of Joseph

We went to church with them in thier ward. It was really fun actually

My new baby....

2009-07-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is my new baby. 2006 Kia Optima

Things happen unxpectedly

2009-07-14T14:53:00.001-07:00

It is crazy how many things you have to do to get ready to go to college. This has been my life lately:

Help grandma
Find a dentist in Norfolk, NE
Finish student loans- DONE
Find out who my roommate is
Find a back pack- DONE
Buy a laptop- DONE
Buy a new car- in the process......

Ugh.

This is.....it.

2009-07-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

This is what I am babysitting right now =]

I got It

2009-07-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

I finally got my laptop today. My grandma is amazing; she is really sick with Edema right now and is on bedrest. Since I couldn't find a job (nobody wanted to hire a college student who would leave for college in a few months) my grandma said that if I came in and helped her by cooking, cleaning, running errands and doing things that she needed to do, she would buy me a laptop for college since I didn't have a job, I couldn't buy one. Well- I got it today and got a wonderful deal on it!! =] It is really fun and I love it!! It just doesn't seem like it is mine yet- maybe because I have only had it since 4:00 this afternoon, and it is only 8:20pm. Below is a picture of it. It is an HP.

When you canot do it alone, Take the saviors hand

2009-07-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

I bought this book so I would have something to read on the way home. I know, I know it doesn't seem like a very good read, but it is amazing! I am only on page 59, but I have learned so much from it already. One thing in particular that I want to share with you all:

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualites as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifes our hearts, expands our souls and makes us more charitable, more worthy to be called Children of God.....and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in Heaven."

I love this quote and just wanted to share it with those of you who read this. I defiantly reccomend reading this. When I first picked it up, I glanced at the back and put it back. But then something made me pick it up again, and boy am I glad that I did. It is probably one of the finest church books that I have read. Some of you know that I struggle with depression, and so has this author so I suppose it makes it a little bit more personal to me. Lots of good advice and tips from this book. I am certainly not encouraging you to read this only if you struggle with depression- I think EVERYONG should read this book.

Mrs. Baker

2009-07-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, since the whole facebook world knows this news, I figured it was okay that I blogged about it. My mom offically got engaged yesterday. He asked her yesterday right before we left Utah in his mom's living room with his mom and I present. She has a beautiful ring that Charlie gave to his mom for a present when he was younger that him and his mum (yes-she's British) decided he could give to her as an engagement ring until he gives her a diamond. It really is a gorgous ring. We are all happy for them, but nothing will happen until my brother gets back from his mission.

Just keep swimming swimming, until they catch you that is

2009-07-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

I tried Seafood for the first time at Red Lobster last night. It was gross. I got a plater with a little bit of everything on it so i could try it all. The shrimp was gross, Crab legs alright but the Lobster was pretty good...it was an interesting night....

A vacation is having nothing to do, and having all day to do it in.....

2009-07-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

This is the Museum that we went to; it was really fun.
This is what you see when you first walk into the museum

They have an actual real working lab that they work on real bones at

It was really fun to see the bones

Pretty sweet, eh?

Do you think this guy may need a dinosaur

This is me under the big guy

My foot compared to his foot. I've never felt that small in my whole life...

There was this really fun water thing that you could damn up sand and then the water really built up (there was quite a bit of water in it) and then it all come pouring down. It was for the little kids-but I'm not an adult yet, so......

This is me and my new friend....

This is a giant turtle...

A shark and I....

Scary was the first word to come to my mind, it looked so real.

These are a bunch of various teeths....

An elephant egg

This was a baby mammoth

We went to this, it was alright. They put a lot of political things in ther about extention and things like that throughout the movie that got kind of agitating, but the whales and dolphins were so cute :-)

Dinosaur

My mom and I had never been to "This is the place" Monument, so while we had the chance we went up there.

This is a statue that brought tears to my eyes. I do not know why they were praying, perhaps they had lost a child or sibling, maybe they were praying for the strength to go on-whatever the cause, it brought tears to my eyes. I felt the spirit SOOOO STRONGLY.

The monument from a distance

My brother is not in Carson City (Used to be Carson Valley) but the Elder that I am writing and will hopefully soon meet is..

I get emotional and usually flooded with the Spirit while at Church sites and taking Church tours...this was no exception.

All in all, it has been a pretty good day. I am going to Red Lobster for dinner tonight. I have never tried resturant prepared food-I am scared but kind of excited to try Lobster. There are many new things that I have tried while here in Utah this trip, so why not try some more with the time I have left?!

We went to my cousins wedding reception last night and it was so beautiful. SHE is so beautiful! She was just glowing!! :-) I have decided that I AM getting married in the temple, and will settle for nothing less. After seeing her yesterday, I know that is what I want. :-)

Me Molly Mormon? Hardly....

2009-07-04T08:48:00.000-07:00

I tresspassed yesterday. So much fun! :-)

Fun was had by many....

2009-07-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

This is part I of my trip to Utah. I am still currently here, but decided to start blogging about my pictures early so I wont be so overwhelmed with it when I get back This was my ride....18 wheels..

Everything was so much taller from a semi. The view was much better
This is me from the rear-view mirror in the semi

I thought the clouds were really pretty, and the start of mountains. This was taken near Rawlins, WY

These are three cute Mormon boys and a cute Mormon Girl. (From Left) Dave, (Front) Cade (heather's little brother) Jaden and Heather

They came over after they were done with Summer Weight-lifting conditioning for football for breakfast. They brought barritos and Heather and I ate toaster struddles.

I stayed in Morgan, UT. This is the big M on the mountain that stands for Morgan.

I thought this was a pretty picture of the moutains.

It is very green and lush right now

Beautiful

I also got the chance to ride a motorcycle for the first time! It was actually really fun!!!

And off we go!

Heathers little sister Abby. Isn't she gorgous?

My hardcore tat

Kelsey and I

Heather and I

I LOVE this girl :-

Heather, Kelsey and I all got dragon tattoos

A lot of Heather's friends came over and just hung out. It was a blast to be at party and have no pressure on alcohol or anything else. It was sooo much fun. No Joke-I love it here so much and I love the people!! :-) This was Dave and Hayley-as you can see-Hayley won!!

She dominated!! YAY!!

We made Mac & Cheese it was delish!!

Here was the whole group! It was so much fun!!!

Crashelle and Myself

Sherry (the woman who I stayed with) and TJ. This woman has helped me more then anyone I've ever known. She is amazing and I am very grateful for her in my life!! :-)

The bestiest most yummiest cheesecake in the whole wide world!!

Waterfall at the resturant we ate at. Well, Sherry and TJ ate at, Heather and I simply had desset at.

Some pretty mountains

Heather and I

We went and walked around Ogden temple grounds

Ogden TempleMe!!

Weber State

Some random lady and I ;-)

The Sister Hills....

2009-06-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

I am almost in Utah.

I can taste it....

I can smell it...

My ears can feel it....

My eyes behold it...

Helloooo Utah!

And yes-it is 4:12in the A.M (Mountain Time) I slept too much during the day, and now am not tired.

I'm scared right now. We're taking on the "sister" hills.

Dear heavens........

I know this is my sisters job...but whatever!

2009-06-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

I may be a little biased, but I think I have the right to say that my niece is one of the cutest babies ever. And yes-I said EVER. This one is a little ham, why yes she is. She loves the camera! So, while my sister ran into my grandmas house one day, I, Aunt Katie, was left to watch and entertain little Lindsay. This is what we did. First we had a fabulous photo shoot. She is such a cute one year old. Speaking of her being a cute one year old-I forgot to mention perhaps one of the most important things-she turned one yesterday!! (Thursday the 25th!!)

After taking pictures off Aunt Katie's phone (I think these are good photos considering they are coming off my phone but you can decide I suppose...) she decided it would be fun to make her aunt do crazy things, such as:

Pulling her hair over her face and playing peek-a-boo. Giving herself whip-lash by whipping her head around to make her niece giggle. Ahhhhh the love of an aunt to a niece is indeed endless. Indeed. I love this child.

And just when I got her happy and giggly and in a good mood (she's been sick) my sister proceeded to come out of the house and leave. What a happy baby; what a joyous life.

Speaking of her turning one, I would just like to share a few things. In all seriousness, I feel so blessed to be able to be a part of this little amazing life. I remember when she was first born and sick in the NICU, I never thought that I would be able to hold her. It was heartwrenching watching her be so sick at such a young age; but since the beginning of her life, she has been a trooper. She is such fun to be around and I can never, and I do mean never be in a bad mood around her. It has been so fun to watch her go from barely being able to lift her head up to crawling and now almost walking on her own. It has been a true blessing and enjoyement to watch her grow up this past year and I am excited to be able to watch her grow even more and to be able to be a part of her life. This blue-eyed, blonde, 5-toother beauty truly knows the meaning and has me wrapped around her little finger. I truly would take a bullet for this kid if it came down to it.

Yes- a bullet.

Happy Birthday baby girl-Aunt Katie loves you!

Rolling on HOW many wheels?

2009-06-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

I will be leaving tomorrow and going to Utah on a, ahem, eighteen wheeler. That's right-I'll be traveling to Utah in a Semi Truck. Wish me luck-or I may just have to kill myself after going crazy.

Tornado Watch? Whatever....

2009-06-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

My best friend and I decided to go to the lake since we both wanted to go swimmin :-) It was a BEAUTIFUL day!! Although we were in a tornado watch-sure doesn't look like it huh? Us two just laying out!!

The only way we can do better is to figure out what we've done wrong...

2009-06-15T20:25:00.000-07:00

I have been asked by many people, many of whom are recurrent and often visit my blog, why I have chosen to go into social work. Other then for personal reasons which I am not going to post on here, well, okay- I am mainly doing it for personal reason. BUT-there is another reason. And please, I ask that you do not laugh at it because it may seem silly to you. I am not sure how many of you out there ever watched "Judging Amy" Well, I LOVED that show growing up. Everytime I saw Amy's mom, Maxine, who was an amazing social worker, in action, I knew that I always wanted to make a difference, do something great like she did. Now, I know that it is TV and every single thing that she did, every word she said was scripted, but I figured that had to be REAL PEOPLE-REAL SOCIAL WORKERS out there who did the same thing that she did; only for real. I knew that the heartfelt compassion that she felt and that radiated from her towards her job, and towards the people that she passionatly served was real (or she made it look real) and that I could do that; I could be that for somebody someday. I will do that for somebody someday.

And then I grew up. I faced the realites of my own challenges and struggles and trials. I had my own emotionally damaging and mentally challening problems that I had to deal with. Although I still loved Psychology, it soon became my dream to become a nurse. I wanted to work with babies in the NICU, and perhaps even little kids in the PICU.

And then I got into my Junior year of High School and decided this is my life, and I will do as I please (kind of-in some things) my mom wanted me to go to UNL to become a dental assistant or a dental hygentist. But that is not what I ever wanted. I wanted to be a physical therapist. At the point I had gone through physical therapy two seperate times for my volly-ball injury and two seperate painful surgeries. It wasn't pain medication (although it was nice) that got me through the intense hours of physical therapy, the crying and frustration of when my hand wouldn't move the right way, kicking my physcial therapist one day post-op (I still feel bad-sorry Tom!) It was the compassion of my physical therapist. Even though going to Physical Therapy one week Post-Op hurt more then everything I had ever known, I got through it thanks to the fabulous staff at my Physical Therapy office. I wanted to become a physical thearpist.

Fast forward to last year, my senior year. I knew that I didn't want to do Physical Therapy anymore- I job shadowed one and figured out that it just was not for me. I wanted to be a Child Life Specalist (Which is still a very real possiblity) I decided that I was going to do something that I can be passionate about, that I will love and wont get burnout of. The more I researched it, the more I fell in love with the idea of becoming a Child Life Specalist.

And then my personal life slowly started to fall apart again. And then with dilligence and a little bit (0kay-a lot bit) of frustration, heartache and yes, even a bit of pain, it slowly started coming back together. Well- I will admit it is still in the process. While in the process of my life falling apart, I try to think of the good things from my childhood. Judging Amy is one fabulous thing that I remember always watching. Well-that and ER. But the hottness of Noah Wyle (Dr. Carter) is enough for another post. I remember wishing that I could be like her. I could be a strong, independant woman who helped other people. I set a goal to help someone someday. I was probably 12 or 13 years old at the time.

Now, fast foward to June of 2009 when I am in Wayne, NE registering for my Fall classes. When asked my intended major I responded "Human Services Counseling" which was pretty much a given. That is the same degree that it takes to become a Child Life Specalist, and it's a social workers degree also. When asked what I eventaully wanted to persue for my career path and how much education that I want to get with it; there was no hesitation. You see, I have been pondering it lately; a lot. Social Work was the obvious answer for me at the time, and it still is. And my Master's degree is what I want to get, but we will see how that will play out. But I WILL get my Bachelor's. I will not settle for anything less.

Looking back on Judging Amy, being one of my favorite shows that I grew up watching, I always idolized that woman (Yes-still talking about Maxine Gray) I always wanted to be like her. Although I do not want to be as stubborn or bull-headed, but I do want to touch someone's life like she did (in the show). So, looking back, I guess it was decided a long time ago that I would be a Social Worker.

And that is the story of how I got into my major of Human Services Counseling for the Fall. So, between my own personal struggles (and hopefully one day triumphs) and Judging Amy, it seems like Social Work is just the fit for me! I just hope that I can emotionally handle it........

Caution: Tears my follow

2009-06-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

Caution: Emotions are running high and tears are sure to follow this post (for me anyway)

After three, yes THREE, long and frustrating years, three different gastrointestion (a.k.a GI) Doctors, one internalist, one juvinial arthritis specalist and countless emergency room doctors, Me-the medical mystery that no one could seem to figure out-has been figured out!

I have something called Celiac Sprue. You can read all about it here. I am about to under go a whole lifestyle change. In a nutshell-Celiac Sprue is an allergy to Gluten. Well, if you dont already know, Gluten is in every possible American Food-WAIT!! It is also in a lot of oriental foods too. My bad.Celiac Disease (CD) is a lifelong, digestive disorder affecting children and adults. When people with CD eat foods that contain gluten, it creates an immune-mediated toxic reaction that causes damage to the small intestine and does not allow food to be properly absorbed. Even small amounts of gluten in foods can affect those with CD and cause health problems. Damage can occur to the small bowel even when there are no symptoms present. Gluten is the common name for the proteins in specific grains that are harmful to persons with celiac disease. These proteins are found in ALL forms of wheat (including durum, semolina, spelt, kamut, einkorn and faro) and related grains rye, barley and triticale and MUST be eliminated.

So, what is the treatment you may be thinking? Because CD/DH is a chronic disorder, the only treatment is the lifelong adherence to the gluten-free diet. When gluten is removed from the diet, the small intestine will start to heal and overall health improves. Medication is not normally required. Consult your physician regarding specific nutritional supplements to correct any deficiencies. The diagnosed celiac should have medical follow-up to monitor the clinical response to the gluten-free diet.Dietary compliance increases the quality of life and decreases the likelihood of osteoporosis, intestinal lymphoma and other associated illnesses.
Because osteoporosis is common and may be profound in patients with newly diagnosed CD, bone density should be measured at or shortly after diagnosis.
Adapting to the gluten-free diet requires some lifestyle changes. It is essential to read labels and learn how to identify foods that are appropriate for the gluten-free diet and do not contain toxin gluten.

So, I will start my diet soon and hopefully it will help. Well, not hopefully, it WILL help because this is my diagnosis (and it better actually be what I have!!!)

So-here's to a new lifestyle!

Smiley

2009-06-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Just a little something that makes me smile! ^_^

Quilt

2009-06-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

I made my first quilt ever!! Now-remember, it's my FIRST quilt- I dont think it looks too bad for being the first one I've ever attempted. I did make it for SOMEBODY, but I'm not going to say who until I give it to her today :-)

Please done judge the looks of me too harshly--> I had a pretty major medical test that morning that required me to be put under sedation--I had an allergic reaction to the stuff they gave me, so I look like CRAP!

The other Brownie

2009-06-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

It seems to be that my brother is having "Fun" on his mission. My great aunt and uncle just got back from Nauvoo, where they served a mission, and said that missionaries are not suppose to say they had "fun" while on thier mission, they are suppose to say they had an "enjoyable time" Well, I'd say my brother is having FUN!

The two pictures below are of Lake Tahoe!

This one is my fav!!

Major Milestone-->Check!

2009-05-17T05:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I am offically a high school gradute-lookin' for a job. Graduation went really well-and well-the important thing is that I'M GRADUTED!!! THEY GAVE ME THE PIECE OF PAPER!!!!!!!!My lovely young women's leaders (one in the green is Sis. Roberts, she is no longer in young women's but that's okay-NEITHER AM I! The one on the right of me, Sis. Burgin just got called not too long ago as young women's pres)
My bestest friend in the whole wide world!!!!

So happy to be done with high school!!!

they gave it to me!!!!.......Amazing!

My cake that my lovely sister made for me!! Except the booblehead-I wasn't a big fan of that

This is the cake that my sister made for me

This is my beautiful cousin Lisa

All in all-the day was pretty good! Thanks to everyone who came!

Only a mere 7 hours....

2009-05-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

New Friends

2009-05-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

It was spur of the moment kind of thing.

7 more days

2009-05-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Somehow it doesn't seem real that in two short weeks from tomorrow that I will be walking across the stage in my high school. graduating. Shaking the principals hand. grabbing my diplomia. Running as fast as I possibly can out of that school, and away from the school counselor. (If you knew him-you would understand!!) It seems like just yesterday I was just entering high school, scared about what things meant, what would happen if I did something wrong. Sophmore year, things got easier. Junior year I think I finally got a handle on high school. But this year, my senior year, it was really my year. I had my first "Real and Offical" boyfriend. I thought I fell in love, real love, for the first time. But realized that is was the thought of love, and that I wanted to be in love so much that I thought I was in love when I really wasn't. This really has been my year. I've come out of my shell so much. Realized I dont care what other people think of me. While I still do-just not as much. Here's a little sneaky peaky of my graduation shoes and dress. I am REALLY excited to wear them both!!! : ) My dress doesn't look very bright in this picture but it is-REALLY bright!!!

Graduation

2009-04-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I am graduating so soon it seems like.

Prom 2009

2009-04-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I had my Senior Prom last night. I guess it didn't excatly go as planned. The prom itself was pretty lame, but Post-Prom is suppose to be the funnest. Well, I came home with a stomach ache that I thought was just that-but I dont know what it is. Perhaps food posioning? So-I was suppose to be at post prom having a blast, but instead I was at home, throwing up, in quite a bit of pain, just being sick and gross. Ugg, it was bad. Thanks Joe for coming out and giving me a blessing!! This is the two Katie's of the class of 2009!! Katie graduated at semester and went to Africa!
This is all four of our favorite teacher. She is AMAZING!! We love Mrs. Lueking and will greatly miss her after we graduate! (From Left) Mrs. Lueking, Amber, Me, Natalie, Paige

Yay for friends. We're "our Group" we do almost everything together

Natalie!

Amber!!

Me before leaving home

The back of my hair

the top of my hair

The front of my hair

I did it

2009-04-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

I went and saw the Hannah Montana movie. I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The acting was fabulous and the music was wonderful.

"The Climb" and "Butterfly Fly Away" were probably my two favorite songs.

The worst

2009-04-08T19:42:00.000-07:00

We were talking in Economics the other day about how the goverment wants us to see the worst that has been happening with the war. But there are good things that happen.

This picture is my favortie

Pilates and Yoga

2009-04-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

My cousin and I are taking Yoga and Pilate classes. I am pretty excited. : )

We're taking it at the "Haymarket Pilates and Yoga" place downtown.

Anyone ever done it? I am pretty darn excited

Thought for the day

2009-04-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am currently sitting in my cousins hospital bed. Chilling in her hospital room. She is sick-real sick. And I dont feel good either. My gallbladder feels like falling out of my body, but it wont. I dont like hospitals as much as I thought I did-but maybe that's because my cousin who I love and am really close to and love is really sick. I dont like that she is sick. That is my thought for the day.

Dont take this the wrong way

2009-04-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

WARNING: I am a little cranky and tired of this subject.

After much conteversy off my facebook (you would have to look at my past history of status's) it has been decided that I should stop tanning. But, we are told not to give into peer pressure-correct? That if we are doing something that isn't harming someone else or majorly harming ourselves. Well, it has been proven that indoor tanning does increase the tanners chance of getting skin cancer. But, along with that, it is MY choice whether I choose to lay down onto that tanning bed for 10 mintues or not. Competely my choice. While I am NOT addicted to tanning like some people are-I do enjoy it. It is really relaxing (other then having to flip around) and it gives good results. So-if I may say so-which I can because this IS MY blog. I enjoy tanning.

I am not trying to be mean or rude or anything of that nature. I am just stating the fact that I am sick of being criticized and everything else because I hit the booth. Free Agency people.., and I'll take the accountability and consequences of my actions.

Millions of people around the world go tanning EVERY DAY. I read it-its a real statistic.

So please, people, stop giving me crap. I dont want to hear it.

Strawberry and grape delight

2009-03-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

have you ever went grocery shopping and then went and stayed at a friends house the next night? well, I did. And last night I was dreaming and craving about those delectuable strawberry's and grapes in the fruit drawer in the fridge. MMM......

Cool in a weird, weird way

2009-03-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

My organs (and whatever else is in there) swells up and presses up agaisn't each other and causes extreme pain. Kinda cool, huh?

Another ER

2009-03-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

I had to go to the emergency room last night because I was in so much stomach pain. Actually, it really wasn't even my stomach. It has been decided that I have "Chronic GI Inflammatory Disease" Now, my question is- how do we prevent it so these little episodes that are landing me in the hospital every once in a while. My cousin goes to a Gastroenterology, Internal Medicine doctor that I am thinking about going to the same doctor that she saw. We'll see I guess.

I know my diet is a major part of it- but not ALL of it. Anyone know anything about this disease? Comments appreciated. Thanks

For Good (From the musical Wicked)

2009-03-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

Our choir teacher thought this song was appropriate to sing for our choirs last concert because of the seniors. I swear, all the senior girls' were crying when we looked at it. I LOVE the lyrics; here they are:

Here is a link for the lyrics. I LOVE them.

Here is the link for a video of it off youtube. These are obvisouly not professionals, but I thought they were really good and you can defiantly see thier friendship. =)

prom 2009

2009-03-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

When you think you are over someone, and then your friend takes them to your prom, it changes your mind. =(

Where does the school get off doing this?

2009-03-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

There are very few things that I am passionatly angry about. But today, well, I am VERY ANGRY about something. One of my classmates who I have many classes with, but dont hang out with outside of school, well, her dad passed away from cancer. She has apparently missed too many days of school and THE SCHOOL SAID THAT SHE HAS TO COME TO SCHOOL OTHERWISE SHE WONT GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her father just passed away on Sunday and they said that she has to be at school; which she was.

How horrible and wrong is that?!?

Spring Break

2009-03-14T06:59:00.000-07:00

My school is dumb. It doesn't have a Spring break, so, I do not get a Spring Break; EVER.

So, as I was pondering this, and talking to my friends and seeing what they are doing for thier Spring Break, it quickly jumped into my head that in college next year, I WILL have a Spring Break.

But what will I do? I dont know what to do on one.

Do you go to Cancun? Florida? Africa?

My sister says you come home.

How boring is that?

Uggg.

shirts

2009-03-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have posted about the t-shirts that my girlies and I are making. Here are the "Top Ten Mr. Petermann" Quotes. They are inside jokes, so it's okay if you dont understand all of them.

1. Some say it was a gift from above....I dont know.
2. Calm down- we're just trying to have a converstation here.
3. I used to have that skill...I'm just kidding. I never had that skill
4. How old were you in 1991? 6 months? oh- you remember the first Iraq war then
5. I'll throw my nuclear weapons at you, which are my markers
6. This is where the magic happens
7. DO you know know what a widget is? No? Neither do I, I just made it up.
8. Your intellectually bankrupt
9. If I made an autobiography everyone would use it as firewood
10. Good luck and God Speed

These are going to be awsome shirts

=)

Bridge over troubled water

2009-03-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side,
when times get rough
and friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When youre down and out
,When youre on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
Ill take your part.
When darkness comes
And pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind
.Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

This is a song that I am singing for my choir concert next Tuesday (March 17th). In honor choir my sophmore year, we were taught by our clinican to put more emotion into our music. Find a connection to the music that we are singing; whether we like the song or not.

I have found a connection to this song. I have a bridge over troubled water. I feel blessed to actually have many bridges. =)

May....

2009-03-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

It seems like depression sets in around the May month mark for me. One of the major reasons is because every May, people who I have grown to love and respect very much, well, move. And that is hard. Last may it was really hard to see Sister Friess and Sister Warner leave. But this year, It will be very painful to see Sis Roberst go (and Sis Montierth of course!!!!) But I have known Sis Roberts longer, so it's going to be more difficult.

With past Young women leaders and people who have left the ward, the promises of staying in touch always float around; but rarely happens. Although blogging is a fabulous invention and a wonderful tool- it can only do so much.

But watch out Sis Roberts- we ARE staying in touch. You have helped me grow in the gospel within this past year then I have ever grown before. You truly are an amazing woman, and have helped me with many decesions and have always helped me, whether I make a good or bad decesion. You're almost like family to me =)

Does anyone know how far away Mississippi is from Omaha??

wait......

MapQuest says........

13 hours driving.....

SouthWest says...............

it is a Four hour flight.

Spring break here I come.

But this year it is my turn. My turn to leave people here. My turn to go somewhere new. My turn to start a new life. My turn to go to college. My turn for happiness.

I am excited for my turn

=)

One year down, one more to go

2009-03-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

It doesn't feel real that chris has been gone for one year March 5th. We are defiantly ready for him to come home! Although Iam really sad that he has missed milestones in all our lives (Kaylin having baby, me graduating, etc.) we all know he is right where he belongs, and that is serving the Lord!! :)

Death

2009-03-07T11:18:00.000-08:00

I had an experience with death today at the hospital. This 14 year old boy was LifeFlighted into the hospital with shortness of breath. We (me, a nurse and other registerer) were trying to figure out why he got LifeFlighted instead of just brought in by ambulance. It was just shortness of breath after all. No history of heart problems, no family history of heart problems (that they knew of).

He died an hour later. Of a heart attack. It made me think, I have been taking life for granted. I am 18 and have been relatively healthy (except my stomach problems) I've had to see 4 different types of specalist for my stomach, and an orthopedic surgeon and physical therepist for my surgeries, and joint problems. Other then that, I am healthy. Although cancer is pretty prevelant in my family, I dont have it. I dont have heart problems, breathing problems, etc. I only have Colitis which could and probably will turn into Crohn's disease. Other than that, I am good.

I'm happy that I am relatively healthy. Last Saturday a lady with cancer in every bone in her body came in in extreme pain. Today a one year old burnt her hands on the oven. An 2o-something year old lost her baby.

I'm thinking about switching to a different department. I dont know if I am cut out for the ER. I was going to take classes to become an EMT this summer. I dont think that is going to happen. I can't do it; I can't deal with it.

others

2009-03-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

I thrive off people. I have figured this out. With our house being worked on by others (people we know) it's quite fun to come home and listen to the carpet guy (who lives a mile or two away from us) and listen to his stories. We've heard stories about his son, stories from high school, his wife, etc. I love other people. I love the energy and everything from them. I am NOT a loner.

Top 10 Mr. Petermann Quotes

2009-03-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Ya know those girls that you envy? I know envy isn't a godly characterisitic, but I am far from perfect; so today, well, I am envying a few girls.

I am envying those girls who can wear size 0 hollister. Who can go to the store and be out of there in a second because they dont have to try anything on because they know it'll fit. And, in the rare case that it doesn't fit, it's simply because it's too BIG. defiantly not too SMALL.

I envy these girls.

I also envy people who have blackberry's. I REALLY want a blackberry; I dont know why but I do.

Speaking of technology, I envy those students here in the library with thier own laptops. I am getting my own laptop soon. Right after graduation I am buying my own. Pretty, pretty laptop to type all my pretty, pretty papers.

I envy those who are not even paying attention in Petermann's class and still passing. You HAVE to pay attention in that class.

I envy those who dont have to go take the test that I am about to take

Lemon

2009-03-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

I have been in the pondering mood lately. While I am in these moods; I write. This is oddly something that I have been pondering.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” that is a popular metaphor used often by many people. But has anyone ever thought about this? What if the lemons are just too sour to make lemonade? What if they get sugar coated- and dunked in every possible sweet thing to cover up the sourness- yet they are still sour. What do you do with the lemon then? Do you set it on your counter, letting it further rot and get even more sour? Do you just throw it out like it didn't matter- like it didn't exist?

19

2009-03-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

Apparently you have to be 19 to buy this stuff. Help me understand. If you have to show your license to buy something, shouldn't it be behind the counter with everything else that you have to be "of age" for? Hm....
I was standing in line, just trying to buy sick people supplies (cough syrup, breathe right strips, etc.) looking all sick, trying to buy this. The lady who was checking my items out looked directly at me and said "Drug sellers buy this stuff and make meth and drugs out of it. Plus, you dont even look 17."

I let her know this " Normally, that would be a compliment. But right now I feel like crap. I am not a drug addict nor drug Lord, and I am 18 and AM old enough and DO have a license and DO drive! So please, dont look at me like that. I am simply....sick."

And I grabbed my stuff and went.

Ignorance hurts people

2009-03-03T05:46:00.001-08:00

Still Alice and Keeping Keller are two fabulous books that I have read lately that I think everyone should read. I think when we are misinformed about a disorder or disease or whatever, then we tend to be scared of it, or make fun of it. And that is not right nor fair for the person with the disorder. I did not write the following reviews because I am too lazy to, but they are great books. Ignorance hurts people.

Book Review:Still Alice by Lisa Genova
Posted on March 10th, 2008
by Maryann Miller

Alice Howland, a Harvard professor of linguistics has trouble remembering a few things. But she doesn’t worry that there is something seriously wrong with her. After all, her husband, John, keeps forgetting where he put his keys, but that assurance is shattered the day Alice forgets how to get home after her morning jog. She stands in the middle of Harvard Square and has no idea which street she needs to take to find her house. That experience scares her enough that she goes to see a neurologist, who, after a series of tests, diagnoses Alice with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease
Because the story is fiction, and fiction often comes with a happy ending, I kept waiting for the miracle. The diagnosis would be a mistake, or the clinical trial would work and Alice would somehow recover. But the book is so laced with reality, the “happy ever after” ending just wouldn’t work. Alzheimer’s is a slow, emotionally wrenching, death of cognition that affects family and friends almost as severely as it affects the patient. Still Alice chronicles that demise accurately as it happens to the Howland family, and they all struggle toward acceptance. But this is not a sad or depressing read. It is positive and uplifting.
As the central character finds unique ways to maintain her dignity and her tenuous hold on reality, she makes a plea for all people with dementia to be treated with respect. “We, in the early stages of Alzheimer’s are not yet utterly incompetent. We are not without language or opinions that matter or extended periods of lucidity. Yet, we are not competent enough to be trusted with many of the demands and responsibilities of our former lives.”
She ends that speech by asking doctors to step up research to find a cure for the disease, and asking the medical community and the general public not to run away from people with dementia and Alzheimer’s, but to work with them to maintain and celebrate who they are. “I am not what I say or what I do. I am fundamentally more than that.”
And that is the heart of Still Alice as she, and her family, try to hang on to the fundamental part of her that doesn’t change because she can no longer remember who they are.

Keeping Keller

Keeping Keller by Tracy Winegar- I loved this story about a little autistic boy in an age when autism was simply seen as mental retardation and “imperfect” children were most often removed from public view. I really related to this powerful story. As the back of the book implies: “Keller is a force to be reckoned with” in more ways than one. Keeping Keller is also not specific to the LDS culture, it is a powerful tale for anyone who faces these challenges or needs to understand them better. Kudos to the author, who has two ASD children herself.

Books I want to read

Faraway Child

Faraway Child by Amy Maida Wadsworth- This was the first LDS book I ever read that addressed autism. I liked it. I really liked it. Yes, the mother was a little whinny to me, but during the time Faraway Child was written, there was very little understanding in the general public about what this experience was like for the parents. Aside from adoring the child, for the sheer sake that I see my own child in her, my favorite character has to be the crusty old Primary teacher they call to work one-on-one with the child. She is a woman after my own heart. Yes, I too have responded to a bishop with, “Haven’t I ever told you I really don’t like kids?” (That’s and entirely different story.)

Accepting Joy

Accepting Joy by Todd F. Cope- Eh, it was okay. This is a short book about learning to accept a down syndrome diagnosis. Perhaps because it was written by a man, the husband seems to be the main focus. I never felt like I got to know the mother beyond her fears about her baby (which instantly seemed to resolve themselves), there seemed to be very little else to her personality. While I know that these types of worries are all consuming, I would have connected better with her if I’d found other things to relate to before the stress began. The financial back story also bothered me. I could get little hints on what this was about and how the author tried to use it as an example of ways to cope with horrid amounts of stress and trial; but, it was actually distracting to know there was some sort of story I was coming in on after the fact. There might have been better ways to accomplish having experiences from others to draw on than this. Accepting Joy’s over-riding message: life’s all about choices— what we choose to accept and find joy in and what we do not. The story is also appropriate for both members of the LDS church and the general population.

Sammys Song

Sammy’s Song by Alma J. Yates- I have to put this title at the bottom of my list, but it is purely because of opinion. The writing and story line in this book about a young girl learning to accept her mentally handicapped cousin, is pretty good. But for whatever reason I found the main character and the plot development abrasive to me personally. Maybe I was just having an “off” day when I read it, but it just didn’t speak to me the way some of the other titles have.

You Always Call Me Princess

I met the Eyre’s at the 2008 LDS Bookseller’s conference in Salt Lake City. Shellie was in a wheelchair following foot surgery, and her parents were right behind her, as they have been all her life. I smiled at Shellie and said, “I have a sister like you.”Shellie smiled back, and dang, if she didn’t have dimples just like my little sister, Carolyn, who also happens to have Down Syndrome.Ted graciously gave me a copy of the his daughter’s most extraordinary experience, a book titled, “You Always Call Me Princess.” As I read, I discovered in the pages an overview of Shellie’s arrival, diagnosis, and life up to the time she was crowned Homecoming Queen of Murray High School. No, this was not a Special Olympics event. This was Homecoming Queen of the entire high school student body, a title voted by her peers.Having a sister with Down Syndrome helped me relate to some events in this book, but the story has universal appeal. As I read, I could see that adding a special needs child to a family impacts parents differently than siblings.In this sweet account, Shellie seems to have lived a charmed life. In know that my own sister sometimes gets upset, and is not above stomping out of a room. It’s true that she’s back soon to give hugs all around and say she’s sorry. If Shellie ever had any stomping fits, those parts were left out of this story, which almost makes her too good to be true.Ted has an incredible grasp of the English language, so good, in fact, that some of his wording was rather high brow for me. I’m more of a simple words girl myself, and think a lot of readers may prefer to read descriptions in simpler language. But the words are understandable, so don’t bypass this gem just because of that. There are also some "thank you's" to key people who helped Shellie which arguably could have been in the acknowledgments, but I may be nitpicking here. You wouldn’t want to miss the unshakable faith of a girl whose father always called her “princess.” The overall feeling of these heartfelt events brimming over with warm fuzzies and blessings shooting through trials like daffodils through winter-dead leaves should touch even the craggiest heart.Oh, and the final paragraphs pricked tears from the eyes of this reader, because Ted captured the feeling I have for my little sister and others like her with words that aim straight for the heart.

The tales of an 8 year old

2009-03-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

WE are getting carpet replaced in our house right now. I am home with a hacking cough and can't really talk and my mom took the day off work so she could be here when Dave (Carpenter) is here doing the carpet. Well, Dave lives about 2 miles away from us and we know his son, Conner. Well, he was telling us a story and it was SOOO funny that I just had to share it.

Conner gets $.50 for feeding his fish (part of his chores) and Dave realized that Conner hadn't been feeding his fish and that Dave was doing it for him. Here's how the conversation went:

Dave: Conner, what do you think happens when you dont feed your fish?

Conner: I dont get my $.50?

Dave: No Conner, they die. THEY DIE!!!!

Conner: Can I get a turtle next?

Dave: OMG!!!!

The look of sheer joy

2009-03-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

We had a VERY happy baby on our hands once she found the mirror.

Graduation

2009-02-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

As I sit here in Study Hall on a laptop in the Library with my friends; I realize that I really need to be doing something productive.

Productive.

Like studying for my test next hour.

Perhaps working on my online class.

Instead, I'm listening to my Ipod.

Watching my friend look up random things like make her happy off her laptop.

and blogging.

I now realized that I have 11 weeks and 1 day, or a total of 50 days left of school (for seniors) and a total of 70 days (including Saturdays and Sundays) left until I am offically graduated.

I am remembering all the good times in High School. And the bad. The frustrating times with teachers and the school counselor who know nothing (sorry-but it's true) and the librarian who hates life. I have spent many hours in this school, along with my friends. Competing in sports, doing the school musical, and music competitions, I realize that maybe High School is going to be a little sad and hard to leave.

I dont cry, or if I do, it's rare. At my high school graduation we hand out roses to whomever you want to have one. I have to buy them on Wednesday. It makes me think...who did I truly gain as Rose worthy friends in high school? I have many friends, but who will I see be estatic to see when I come home from college? Who will I facebook? Text? or call? on a regular basis?

These thoughts have been going through my mind.

A lot of thoughts are going through my mind; now and lately.

Thoughts of my first real boyfriend. Thoughts of my Junior prom, all four homecomings. Nervosuly doing solos in choir, piling on make-up for Oklahoma! the musical done last year. Memories of running our choir teachers away.

Memories of volly-ball.

Memories of crazyness.

Running down the halls, being spunky.

Being myself.

Along with these great memories, there also comes frustrating memories.

Like:

Tests. Epsecially Mr.Petermanns test.

Math. I HATE math (lets just say that's an understatement)

my sister's graduation

my brothers graduation

my friend's graduations.

Competitions. Sporting events. Cheerleading tryouts. show choir tryouts.

Happy things. sad things

Just things.

My girlies and my besties (Natalie, Amber and Paige)

we're all making t-shirts of Mr. Petermann. You'd have to take his class to Understand.

He likes to use metaphors and words.

Dumb, dumb words.

So, we're making "Petermann Quote" t-shirts.

Just the four of us.

Everytime we look at them we will laugh and think of each other.

Probably text each other about them.

Mine will say:

"Pay attention or I'm going to throw this marker at your head."

Ahhh, wonderful, wonderful Mr. Petermann. and Mrs. Lueking. Lovely Mrs. Lueking.

I love her and will miss her. She's been wonderful and makes me smile everytime I think of her.

I'm gonna keep in touch with her

So, with graduation looming near, I will probably be posting sentimental high school things that make me smile at the thought.

Dont want to know them?

Too bad.

Then dont read.

Speaking of Petermann, off I go to his class.

Blood Drive

2009-02-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

I dont deal with rejection very well at all. So, here is a letter proving my point.

Dear Red Cross Blood People,

I competely support your cause in people donating blood. In fact, that it is what I am writing about today. I donated for my first time in 2008. It was an alright experience (except I am TERRIFIED of needles) It's true that I almost passed out, but that's okay. I made it through. And then I decide, I feel good about helping someone out. Someon is going to use and need my blood. I can do this, I'm going to overcome my fear of needles. So, my friend Paige and I make our way down to the VFW to donate again in September, and you turn me away; you say I'm anemic. Whatever I thought; you just dont want my blood. Hmph. I go again yesterday. You're TOO dehydrated and you need to drink more otherwise your doctor will probably put you on an IV. Hmph I say once again. I dont handle rejection well. I quite.

Sincerly,

AB Negative

clarification

2009-02-22T15:56:00.000-08:00

Clarification

Somebody (a.k.a my sister) misunderstood my last post on germs.

I did not intend to call any of your children germs.